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Stuck in "Preparing Automatic Repair" boot restart loop. / Unsure if hardware, software or Windows.

2020.11.30 08:10 anglejongen Stuck in "Preparing Automatic Repair" boot restart loop. / Unsure if hardware, software or Windows.

Today, I decided to try and play around with the fan curve on my AIO. I have an extraordinarily loud system, so I wanted to tone it down a little bit. I did two things : I changed it in the BIOS (which didn't change much), and installed AI Suite 3, Asus' own software. I updated drivers from the suite, I edited my fan curves, and for several hours, all was well in the world.
6-7 hours later, as I was enjoying my much more pleasant gaming experience, my system crashed. I've had that often when trying to lower the fan curve on my GPU, I figured it would restart like it always does in such instances. Alas.
Since then, I've had the following loop happen:
  1. POST works.
  2. After POST, I get a "Preparing Automatic Repair" message.
  3. After a few seconds, system automatically reboots.
It can happen dozens of times in a row, and it never lasts more than 5-10 seconds without rebooting. I can access the BIOS, no problem. I've stayed in there for 30 minutes without issue. All my fans seem to be working, my CPU temp is a continuous 30-32C.
Steps taken so far:

Here are my specs from UserBenchmarks:
CPU: Intel Core i5-9600K - 95.2%
GPU: AMD RX 5700-XT - 106.9%
SSD: Samsung 860 QVO 2TB - 103.9%
SSD: SanDisk SSD Plus 240GB - 52.9%
HDD: Seagate ST5000LM000-2AN170 5TB - 51%
HDD: Seagate ST5000LM000-2AN170 5TB - 55.4%
RAM: Team Group Inc. TEAMGROUP-UD4-2400 2x8GB - 81.6%
MBD: Asus ROG STRIX Z390-I GAMING
I also have a Deepcool GAMMAXX L240 V2 69.34 CFM Liquid CPU Cooler and a few case fans.
I'm stumped. What should be my next steps?
submitted by anglejongen to techsupport [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 01:53 SirPhoenix88 Volume 6, Chapter 4

Translated from Spanish. Anything that didn't make sense in english I took creative license to make it fit better.
Chapter 04 - The Promise of That Day
It was more than ten years ago.
As she stood by her ever weakening brother Leon, Louise spoke to him as she gazed out the window.
"Leon, are you cold?"
“I’m okay, onee… *cough**cough*”
Seeing Leon cough, Louise quickly squeezed his hand.
The doctor didn't know why Leon was getting weaker and weaker.
Originally the blessing of the Sacred Tree, should protect him.
The emblem of the six great nobles would repel any disease.
But this one did not protect Leon.
"Leon, hold on!"
Louise's emblem emitted a warm glow and tried to heal Leon, but to no avail.
However, Leon smiled and thanked her.
"Thanks Onee-chan, I feel better.”
Even though she was just a child, Louise could see that the lie was a kindness from Leon.
"Y-You'll be fine... You will get better... The Sacred Tree will definitely protect you ... mom and
dad are working hard for you.
They enlisted many doctors.
They even bought some secret foreign medicines.
Even so, Leon never recovered.
Louise took Leon's hand in hers.
"Leon, what do you want to do when you're okay?"
"Hmmm ... Oh yeah. I want to go to the New Years Festival!”
"The New Years festival?"
"...they told me I couldn't attend because it would be too dangerous."
As they were too young, neither Louise nor Leon could go.
"Hmmm, then why don't you and I go to the cave?"
Leon laughed at that and turned her down.
"Hey… I can’t do that."
"W-Why !?”
"Onee-chan, I have a fiancee, you know? So I need to go to the cave with her. I have never seen her before. She is the best girl I have ever met. If I go into the cave with you, it would be bad for her.”
Louise was shedding a tear when she saw Leon smiling with a big smile on his face.
"Leon, you idiot!"
"Hey-hey, don't cry. I'll go to the cave with you. I'll take you to the cave. I'm sure it is not
a problem if I enter twice.
Louise used the words she would say to Leon when he said things like that.
"You are a traitor, Leon!"
To comfort the crying Louise, Leon rubbed her back.
-I'm sorry. I will make sure to get better and attend the New Years Festival with you. I'll even go to the cave with you.
"Promise it. I won't forgive you if you lie.”
"... Yes.”
Seeing her brother's weak smile, Louise felt hopelessly sad.

The New Year's festivities would be celebrated shortly after the year began.
—It's not what I imagined
[What the hell was he waiting for?]
"When they said New Years Eve ... shouldn't there be a visit to the temple on that day?"
When I went out on New Years Day wanting to pay a visit, I found a park with attractions on site.
The adults were smiling and talking, and the children were running around.
They played in the arcade and smiled in front of street performers.
It was like an amusement park in a foreign drama.
I was imagining a gathering full of food stalls, but it seems to be different from some way.
[Master, be careful]
"Do you think I'll get lost?"
Luxon told me to be careful and I thought he was being sarcastic as he usually is, but it was not the case.
He stared in one direction.
Coming from the direction Luxon's lens was looking, there was Lelia in a dress.
She wore a coat over her dress and high heels.
Although she is was well dressed, I was more surprised to see what was coming along with her.
Floating beside Lelia was ... a Luxon with a blue lens.
"Hey, what's up with that? There is a copy of you here.”
[I don't know, it’s unexpected. However, it is not a surprise that the second Otome game
of what you speak has an existence similar to mine. As for myself, I’m surprised that I
met someone of the same species at this time.]
Doesn't meeting Clare count?
The blue Luxon had noticed us.
When Lelia approached, she pushed her sidetail back with her left hand.
Her demeanor was very different from what it was before winter break.
-It's been a while.
—Happy New Year ---
When I tried to greet her in Japanese style, Lelia's face flushed as if she thought she was being teased.
"Are you making fun of me?"
-No. Today I exchanged Japanese greetings with Marie. I was getting really sad. It feels
good to reincarnate and say New Year's Day. I’ve missed it. But after that, Marie asked me for a New
Year's gift!
Laughing, Lelia turned to the blue Luxon.
"Say hi, Ideal."
Ideal?
Is that the name of the blue guy? He approached us --- or rather, approached Luxon.
[Nice to meet you, please call me Ideal. Oh my, it's still a surprise to me. I've heard of it, but it is a miracle that I met Luxon at this time. Let's continue to be good friends in the future.]
It was a very friendly artificial intelligence.
However, Luxon's reaction was cold.
[... You're a supply ship, right? You seem to be very cautious with us, no? I am surprised that it is so new that it is not saved in my compilation of information.]
"Supply ship?"
I looked at Lelia, who was with her arms crossed and looking somewhat triumphant.
"Ideal is a supply ship. Your ship was one of prototypes, but Ideal's is a pure warship. Isn't it cool?
A transport ship used by the military?
It must be amazing, but I can't decide how amazing it is.
"Luxon, how cool is Ideal?"
[It is a warship that fought against the new humans. If you compare the performance
with my main body, I'm sure there are a number of advantages.]
-That's great.
Was it because of this guy's updated features that Luxon hadn't noticed him before? But Luxon suspected it.
What happens?
Ideal approached me.
[It must be the Master of Luxon, Mr. Leon. I look forward to working with you on the future.]
"Did you know about us?"
I looked at Lelia and she didn't even look at me.
"Ideal, the greetings are enough."
[It is understood.]
After looking at Ideal, who obeyed Lelia's instructions honestly, I looked at Luxon.
Receiving my gaze as if to say something, Luxon must have also guessed.
[If you have something to say, I hope you put it into words.]
"Why don't you take a page out of Ideal's book and honor me as your Master?"
[I will do everything in my power]
Is it truly that uncomfortable showing me respect? He's too stubborn to be an artificial intelligence.
Lelia looked at us and giggled a little.
"You two really get along, don’t you? Is it true that he doesn’t consider you as his Master?
-Why?
"Because Ideal does respect me. It's a little hard to deal with, but if you tell him to do something, he will do it for you.
Looking at Ideal, he demonstrated it to me by nodding his head vertically.
[Thanks to Miss Lelia, I have been released from the waiting order. This is natural.]
I envied their relationship and spoke to Luxon.
"Won't you thank me too?"
[How long do you think I've been covering your butt up to now, Master? You are who should
thank me.]
This guy, I had a feeling that he would really betray me one day.
No, he was a traitor because he had already betrayed me.
Lelia glanced at the hall clock and walked away from us.
"I'm busy today, so I'll go." And then ... we'll have another discussion later. We have
to talk about the future, right? Ideal, let’s go.
"Yes, Miss Lelia."
I watched them leave and spoke to Luxon.
"Luxon, do you have a moment?"
It seemed like a great master-servant relationship, but I'm a twisted man, so a question occurred to me.
[Did you notice something?]
"Oh, you too? It's strange.

After leaving Lelia and Ideal, I went to the place where I was going to meet Louise.
She was more dressed up more than usual.
-You are very beautiful today. I wonder if I match.
I was wearing a coat over my suit and Louise wrapped her arms around me.
-You're good. Instead, it is I who should be afraid to deal with the hero of the kingdom.
Hero. I didn't want to be a hero.
"Although I am a little scared."
But there is something that inexplicably bothers me.
"More importantly, there are many young children here."
True. They told me that Louise and Leon couldn't attend because they were too young.
However, there were many children in the hall.
"... My father did his best to get the children to participate as well."
Mr. Alberg?
"I'll just tell you that I'm not the only one feeling guilty." Well we're about to
get started, so come here.
The place where my arm was pulled towards was a place with a stage that was more
ostentatious than the others.
Sacred tools were also installed, and that was the only place where the atmosphere was
different from the others.
The heads of the six main families had gathered to give thanks, pray and declare their
vows to the Sacred Tree.
A large number of other nobles had also gathered there.
In the midst of all this, Louise pointed out a cave where a door had been made to
stand out.
"That's the cave with a stone monument. Let's go into that place together.
A cave created by the roots of a tree is a strange thing.
It's a fantasy world, so it doesn’t matter to me, but the roots of the Sacred Tree seem to be the only thing they avoid there.
- Are you sure it's okay for me to go with you? I know I have a resemblance, but I ...
I am not the real Leon.
When I was about to say that, Louise clung tightly to my arm.
"It is very rude that you are running away now. Or did you feel bad for your fiancees? The truth is that I'm just going into a cave with a good friend. It is not unusual for a sister and brother. Husband and wife, parents and children --- all kinds of relationships enter the cave.
However, it seems to be a type of state where young men enter with their girlfriends.
If he didn't have a girlfriend, this meeting would be hell.
I'd run away and never join
"I wouldn't want to come to a meeting without a partner."
"... Well, this is the first time I'm going to enter the cave."
- Really?
-I promised. I promised that I would enter the cave with my brother. So, to this day,
Every time they asked me to come, I said no. I feel like it would be like breaking a promise to go in with someone else, right?
Is it okay for me to be your first partner?
Then the hostess said that the ritual was over and it was time to go to the cave to pray.
The hallway became noisy.
A nearby young man was confessing to a woman.
"Jessica ... I've always been in love with you. Come into the cave with me and I'll pray to the Sacred Tree for our future.
A man on his knees was holding a woman's hand.
He has a lot of courage to confess in a place like this.
But the world is not that simple ...
-I'm so happy. Jack, I've been waiting to hear you say that for a long time.
... What? It was successful !?
Everyone around me was applauding the newly joined couple.
I was caught up in that too, and gave an unwilling clap.
Then the confessions of love started everywhere.
"Louise, what is this?"
"It's quite normal to confess at times like this." It is very popular.
I looked at her smiling, but as a foreigner I couldn't understand it.
After all ... compared to the kingdom, the women here are kind, that's why I envy the
men of this country.
I remember the time when I confessed my love and they told me to look in the mirror.
"It's good to be in the Republic."
-Really?
I thought about telling Louise more about the situation in the kingdom, but it's not something to talk about when you are celebrating.
Looking towards the cave, I saw a line forming.
"Looks like we won't be able to get in for a while."
"Well, do you want to go have fun?"
She took me by the arm and we went to where the amusement park was located.
Louise was dressed like a grown woman and smiling innocently like a child.

After inviting Leon to the amusement park, Louise made her way through the crowd. Holding hands with Leon, they would seem like lovers for the first time. A bewildered Leon was being led by an energetic Louise.
"Now we'll go that way."
When Louise pointed to the booth, Leon had a look of surprise on his face.
"A food stand?"
"These things should be fun."
I don't normally go to food stalls, but you should enjoy them at these places.
It was Louise's idea.
She was going to enjoy it for her brother who couldn't be here.
"I wonder if you're not good at places like this, Leon."
I knew it was going to be difficult.
She was worried about Leon, who was confused.
She regretted having made him accept her selfishness.
Leon had betrothed and it would be distressing if they suspected him of cheating on them for his actions.
To avoid suspicion, he explained the situation to his two fiancées and they understood, but it is well known that women understand in theory, but not by heart.
Leon was slow in that area, so Louise was even more concerned.
"No, I'm confused because this type of atmosphere doesn't exist in the kingdom, but it's fun. Besides, being taken by a beautiful woman is always great for a man ~.
"I think you should learn a little more about femininity, Leon. You're going to get stabbed someday.”
"I hope I'm loved enough to be stabbed."
Laughing at Louise's words, Leon had the attitude that he didn't care. That was disturbing for Louise.
Should I teach him a good lesson before he returns to the Kingdom of Holfault?
A being who resembled his dead brother --- of course, Louise couldn't leave him alone.

Lelia was waiting her turn to enter the cave.
It was their turn to enter the cave, but the couples who had successfully confessed their love would have priority.
The next to enter were the officials of the six great nobles.
It is not natural for couples to take precedence over the six great nobles, but in the world of an otome game, it makes sense.
Romantic events take precedence in this otome game.
Lelia had to enter the cave soon too, but there were so many people that she couldn't find Emile.
"Ideal, were you able to find Emile?"
[I'm afraid he’s talking to someone and can't get here.]
"How can he leave his fiancee right now? It's about time we went in!
The lovers' prayers had ended, and now the six great nobles had priority.
That time was also running out.
[It seems to be someone important. It was a serious discussion, so I felt bad for interrupting him.]
An artificial intelligence with feelings? Aaah --- it's okay.
Could it be someone from work?
Lelia knew that Emile was serious and decided to wait a moment.
Then, she was grabbed by her arm from the crowd.
-Hey?
Surprised, she looked the other way and found Serge in his suit.
"Serge !?"
Serge was smiling, showing his white teeth, but his expression quickly changed, becoming serious.
"Lelia, come here for a moment."
Lelia was perplexed when her arm was pulled hard.
-Wait a minute! Where are you going!?
The cave was where Serge was going.

An announcement was made in the hallway.
The time for the priority use of the six great nobles was about to end.
Louise and I lost track of time having fun, and we hurried back to the cave after hearing the announcement.
-I'm sorry. Do we still have time?
When Louise asked the person in charge, he was a bit confused.
—Yes, but actually ---
"Well, we'll go in." I apologized.
Louise took me by the hand and led me into the cave, where several lanterns hung in a row. The Inside the cave was brighter than I expected.
This reminded me of the lanterns I had seen at a fair.
-It is very bright.
-That’s true. * Sigh *, I'm tired.
Louise was out of breath from running at full speed.
She put her hand on his chest.
"I would have been very sorry if I hadn't arrived on time."
"Don't worry, I can use my powers to interfere if we don't make it."
"Yes, but I wouldn't like that."
She is the villainess, but she does not seem to want to exercise power.
Why is this person the villainess?
As for Anjie, how is she a villainess?
"Well, I would be here next year."
"Don’t you think you are too unaware, Leon? You can be a womanizer.”
-Do not worry. I am engaged to my two fiancees.
—However, it's not easy when there are two of them ~
We were both talking foolishly as we made our way through the cave, which was only one road.
The ground had been easier to walk on.
However, the walls and ceiling were still made of wooden roots. If you touched them, there was a lumpy feeling, somewhere wet. Moss grew and small tree branches grew in places.
Louise leaned closer to me.
"I really wanted to come here with my brother when he was feeling better." She admitted, but brother Leon never recovered.
It seems to me that she is dragging her dead brother too far, but it is not an area in which I, as a stranger, can enter.
Let's try to be a good substitute this time.
"Then you have kept your promise."
"... But that child has broken so many promises." And some others too.
"Leon, are you a liar?"
-No.
There was a bit of anger in the part that was different.
However, Louise's expression soon softened.
"He said," If you're in trouble, I'm sure I'll help you. And that since he got the
guardian emblem he said he would become a great guardian.”
He was an amazing boy, even as a child.
I would never have a line like that.
I would have said something like being a guardian is troublesome ~.
Louise covers her mouth with her hand and starts laughing.
"Now that I think about it, he was a pretty sorry kid." "I will also make you my wife," he said. In
that time I really received his words. He gave me a ring made of paper and then ...
She was smiling, but in the end she remembered something and became sad.
- Did you confess to your sister? I could never do that.
"Speaking of which, Leon, you also have an older sister, right?" Now that I remember,
Didn’t you say he set a bomb on you or something? You're kidding me, right?
-It is true. She tried to kill me.
However, that's because of a nasty black-hearted son of a bitch named Jilk!
No, she is really a bad sister.
"Y-You have a pretty wild relative."
-Uh, do you want to come to my house?
"Haha, that's a great suggestion." My heart was almost touched. Really. I thought I might be adopted, but I have my parents, my older brother and my younger brother too.
I want to be adopted! However, I am not in a position to do any kind of statement, and it's a big problem.
If only I had no connection to them --- it's impossible.
My parents are kind, and my brothers are very good to me.
My sister is the problem and I doubt she will ever change.
Hey? My family would have been perfect if it weren't for my sisters, right?
Considering that Marie has given me a hard time in my previous life, aren't my
sisters the only problem for me?
"Oh, you are very close to everyone except your sister."
"However, I don't get along with my little sister either." No, seriously, nothing good with
a younger sister.
In this life and in the last I have had difficult times with my younger sister, Marie.

Lelia was in the cave when Serge took her by the arm.
"Hey, what are you doing taking me to a place like this? Emile and I ---
Originally she was supposed to go with Emile, but Serge made her go with him.
When Serge released her hand, Lelia fell to the wall.
Ideal, who was off to the side, gently blamed Serge's actions.
[I’m not impressed by your behavior. It's not the kind of place to force a woman to come here.]
Lelia, who knew a lot about the events of the New Years Festival, knew that this was a place for lovers to come together.
Because it was bad for Lelia that she was here with Serge.
"They saw you and me together at the entrance!" What excuse can I give Emile?
Serge, who had been silent until now, turned to Lelia.
He placed his hand on the wall and closed the distance between himself and Lelia.
Serge and Lelia's noses came close enough to touch.
"Lelia, don't worry about Emile." He's the one who left you alone and went to talk to other people.
How do you know that?
Lelia narrowed her eyes.
—Don't tell me that you ---
"I just asked him to keep Emile away. But I also told him he didn't have to force him to stay. It was his choice not to come.
Hearing that, Lelia lowered her eyes.
Seriously, Emile, you don't know anything about the minds of women. I chose a serious one, not you.
She had been hopeful because Emile was boring.
Lelia remembered the person she was engaged to in her previous life.
It was fun to be with that person unlike Emile.
But ... they parted ways.
Reflecting on that, she chose the serious Emile as her lover in this life.
However, it was inevitably not enough.
Still, Lelia had no intention of betraying Emile.
"...... Serge, stop."
-Why? I love you more.
"Even if you say it in words --- Mh !?
[Oh, you are very bold.]
Ideal was carefree and impressed, but Lelia couldn't complain.
Because Serge had covered her mouth.
Lelia's mouth was blocked by Serge's mouth.
She tried to resist, but couldn't escape from Serge, who was trained.
However, the resistance was not strong either.
For several minutes, Lelia and Serge remained in that position.
When Serge finally released her, Lelia turned around when he finally let her go.
Serge's passionate demeanor, which Emile did not have, made her heart pound quickly.
Serge whispered his love into Lelia's reddened ear.
-I'm serious. I really love you. I was very surprised when I found out that you were
engaged to Emile. I was so frustrated that my eyes turned black.
The tone of his voice did not seem to be a joke, and Serge showed an attitude of not letting go until he heard Lelia's response.
"Lelia, I want to have a family with you." A real family.
-Family?
I suppose he read the mood, but Ideal was silent.
He didn't interrupt them.
"Serge, I'm ... sorry. I can’t."
When Lelia answered, Serge narrowed his eyes and made a sad face.
-... I see. I'm sorry.
Amid the uncomfortable air, Ideal turned toward the entrance.
[Wow, I shouldn't have forced my entrance to interrupt them, but the following
people have reached me.]
The one who was there --- was Louise.
She ran towards them.
"What the hell do you think you're doing !?
Louise blames them both for seeing Serge kiss.
Serge looked upset, but when he saw someone coming from behind Louise, he was surprised.
Seeing Serge's strange behavior, Lelia called out to him.
"Serge?"
However, Louise approached Lelia.
"Lelia, did you come here of your own free will?"
"N-No! That was because …”
Serge made me come in with him.
When she was about to say that, Serge hit the wall.
Both Lelia and Louise turned their gaze to Serge.
Serge, shaking with anger, was looking at Louise.
"What does this mean, Louise !? Who's that boy!?”
As Louise walked away from Serge, the man who approached intervened between them.
Ideal greets in a lawful way
[It was too quick a meeting.]

Who is this?
I ran into the boy who was the last conquest target, but he was acting
strange way.
The hostility he directed towards me was tremendous.
Hate? Hostility? Why?
Sure, I have wiped out the Republic, but I'm sure I haven't done anything personally to this guy.
Why would he hate me so much?
Serge looked at me with a wrinkle between his eyebrows, blood flowing from his fist hitting the wall.
He was so shocked that he didn't even feel the pain.
"Huh? We've never met before, right?”
Lelia was confused looking around for help.
However, Louise seemed to know what was going on.
"This is your first meeting." Serge, father told you before that it was he who loved you at present.
Serge came up to me.
-Who are you?
By the way he was acting like he was about to punch me in the face,
Am I getting in trouble again?
Are there only conquest targets that are troublesome kids?
Even if a guy came out looking for a quick fight, he would just think, "Oh, it's that kind of
boy".
"Nice to meet you." I am Leon Fou Baltfault. I am studying abroad since
Holfault Kingdom --- Gh!
While greeting him, he hit me.
He sent me flying backwards and fell on my butt.
Louise ran up to me and picked me up.
-Leon! Serge, do you have any idea what you've done !? He is a noble foreigner. If you put a
hand on ---
Holding my nose while looking at Serge, I saw that he had a rough expression.
Lelia seemed to be confused by the sudden events.
"W-why?" Serge, what is it?
When Lelia called him, Serge turned his gaze to Louise.
-Leon? What? Have you found a replacement for me?
"... I don't know what's wrong with you, but you must apologize to him. You don't know what you are doing.”
-I do not care! It has your brother's name and your brother's face. If you are here with
him, it means that!
What do you mean by that?
Louise is just trying to keep her promise to Leon.
When I tried to complain, Luxon approached me.
[It's another hassle. The Master seems to be an expert at attracting trouble.]
"I don't like being beaten."
[I see. So you want to get rid of him?]
I tried to wait for the usual radical statement, as usual ... but Ideal stopped him first.
[Oh, that's an extreme relationship between master and servant. Luxon, I don't think it's a
good idea.]
[--- He was the one who attacked first.]
[The idea of ​​erasing anything is dangerous]
It was the most decent artificial intelligence I could imagine.
Comparing Ideal to either Luxon or Clare, I'm starting to think that the artificial intelligence I've
referred to is just an outlier.
I let out a sigh in front of how Louise argued with Serge.
"For now let's quickly finish our sentences and get out. You over there! Remember that when you're out there.”
I am a man of revenge.
And I'll make you pay for this.
"Uhm?" If you want, we can do it here.
Serge was about to extend his hand, but Lelia hugged him to stop him.
"Serge, wait! This guy is really dangerous. I'll explain later, but for now let's go out.”
Serge lowered his fist at Lelia's suggestion.
"Tsk!" Lelia, let's go to the bottom of the cave!
Louise pulled out a handkerchief and pinched my bleeding nose.
-I'm sorry. I didn't know he was there. I'm sorry.
I looked at Louise, who was depressed, and didn't blame her.
"Do we finish our sentences first?" You're going to keep your promise, right?
"... Yes.
Following Serge and Lelia's back, we headed to the stone monument in the part of
behind.

"It's smaller than I thought it would be."
When I heard about the stone monument that protects the Sacred Tree, I imagined it being big, but the real one was small.
However, the Sacred Tree is rooted to protect only that monument.
"So should I pray to this?"
Louise nodded and showed me how to do it.
-Take my hand. ... So, close your eyes and pray. It is said that if your prayers and wishes reach the
Sacred Tree, they will answer you.
Serge, exasperated, laughed at Louise's words.
"It's just a childish superstition, isn't it?" If it really were like this, your brother wouldn't have died. No, you really didn't want your brother, did you?
At Serge's words, Louise hugged herself.
Thinking that he was acting too awful, Lelia stopped Serge.
"Serge, let's get this over with and go back."
"Well, since I got what I wanted, I don't care about anything else."
I said a few words to Serge while he tried to pray.
"You're an asshole."
-What?
I closed my eyes to pray silently.
Then, I felt the earth tremble.
When I hurriedly opened my eyes, I saw that Louise was emitting a light.
-Hey? Wh-what?
She didn't understand what was happening either.
And the emblem on the back of Louise's hand was glowing.
"Luxon, what's going on !?
[I do not know.]
Lelia was also consulting with Ideal.
"Ideal, what's going on?"
[I am researching. Oh, this is ...]
Then a voice echoed through the cave.
No, this one was speaking to me in my head.
"To the flowers ... they blossomed ... in the treetop ... offer them ..."
-What?
I held my head with my right hand and looked around, but there was no sign of anyone
more.
Luxon was looking up at the ceiling.
[It appears that the Sacred Tree is delivering a message.]
-The tree?
[You must not think of the Sacred Tree as a mere plant. Rather, I'm done
analyzing it.]
Luxon repeated the voice of the Holy Tree clearly.
It was too horrible to be true.
[To the flowers that bloomed in the top of the tree, offer the sacrificial girl ...]
Sacrifice?
I quickly looked at Louise, who had just turned on a light.
She fell to her knees and then hugged herself.
"Louise!"
I hugged her and stood her up, and immediately told everyone here in a strong tone of voice.
Considering the situation in the Republic and what is happening now ... I have a bad
feeling about it.
"Listen, don't tell anyone when you get out."
Lelia flinched, as if she hadn't expected it.
-But.
-Let's just go! I'll take care of it. So don't tell anyone.
He was muttering something to me as he hugged Louise and turned to leave.
"I heard voices."
-You'll be fine. I won't let them sacrifice you. As long as you don't say anything, no one will ever know.
-No. Is not that. It's just ... I heard Leon. I ended up listening to Leon.
-What?
A trembling Louise shed her tears while saying that.

Louise, who was being hugged by Leon, had heard a voice from earlier.
This was a nostalgic voice.
The voice of her brother Leon.
However, that voice was suffering.
—It's painful ........ Onee-chan ...... help me .......
Louise covered her ears, but the voice echoed directly in her head.
From the emblem on the back of her right hand, she could hear Leon's voice.
It really seemed like he was suffering.
"I'm scared ... Onee-chan ... I miss you. I ......... I am alone in the Sacred Tree.”
Louise burst into tears.
-I'm sorry. Sorry, Leon. Your sister will definitely help you. So ... please be
patient for a while longer.
Imagining her young brother trapped in the Sacred Tree, she couldn't stop crying.
"Your sister will go to your side … My brother from a long time ago ... who I couldn't save, is calling me.”
She wanted to see it.
For Louise, that just ... made it worth the sacrifice.
In the place where tears are shed from her, Ideal spoke.
[You're good? What do you hear?]
I hear his voice. It's my brother's voice.
[What did he say?]
-He is suffering. I have to save him ... I have to save Leon ... now I can ...
[... At the cost of your own life?]
When Louise nods to the Ideal's words, Leon waved her away.
-What do you mean by that!?
[I am sorry for this. It seemed somewhat confusing, so I thought I'd gather some information. Now you better hurry up and get out of here.]
Leon tried to get Louise out.
"Louise, please don't say anything when you go out, okay?"
He was probably trying to protect her, but Louise only saw him as an obstacle.
You're worried about me But I'm sorry. I will be next to my brother. Is the least that
I can do.”

As everyone hurried out ...
Only Ideal remained at the back of the cave looking at the monument.
He floated for a while, but in the distance he heard Lelia screaming,
"Ideal, where are you !?
He began to move slowly.
When he reached Lelia and the others, he regained his normal tone.
[I'm sorry. I arrived too late.]
What the hell do you do in this situation??
submitted by SirPhoenix88 to MobuSeka [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 21:58 MathematicianNo5785 Can't update shopping cart for more than one item, works fine for a single item, otherwise only the first one gets updated

I am trying to update the quantity of the product in the shopping cart by changing the number in the dropdown. If the cart has two or more items only the first one works and the qty doesn't change for the other items even after changing it in the dropdown. From the HTML form I want to get "productid" and "size" of the item whose "qty" is being changed and try to manipulate the sqlite database using these three values. Attaching the template as well as part of the python/sqlite codes:
@/app.route("/updatecart", methods = [ "POST"])
def updatecart():
if request.method == "POST":
qtychanged = request.form.get("qtydropdown")
productid = request.form.get("productid")
size = request.form.get("size")
print(size)
for rows in shoppingcart:
if int(qtychanged) == 0:
shoppingcart = db.execute("update cart1 set qty = :qty where productid = :productid and size = :size", productid = productid, size = size, qty = qtychanged)
.....continues.....
This is how I am trying to get the "productid" and "size" of the item whose value is being changed in the dropdown in the template.
;
The HTML form looks like this which is only returning the values for the first item. Is there a way for the form to return the "qty" value of only the item whose value is being changed from the dropdown?
{% extends "layout.html" %}
{% block title %}
cart
{% endblock %}
{% block main %}

{% for item in shoppingcart %}


{{ item. name }}

Top 1

Price: ${{ item.price }}



Size: {{ item.size }}

Total Cost: {{ item.total usd }}




{% endfor %}

{% endblock %}
submitted by MathematicianNo5785 to cs50 [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 19:48 Yo-yoProgrammer I have to make someone's row-skipper code work on Android/iOS, but I don't know how

Hey all,
I hope you can help me with this. I'm a low-code developer who is tasked with "fixing someone's code so it works on mobile too".
Its basic function is being attached to a table and then after a user has entered something in a field on a row, it 1) recognizes that, kicks off a low-code flow and 2) puts the cursor on the next row (in the field of the same column).
Could you folks perhaps take a gander at the code? I don't know why it doesn't respond at all on mobile devices, but I'd like to learn why and be able to do this better myself in the future. ^^
Thank you in advance!
MxJS.triggerQuantityUpdate = function(activeRestriction){ jQuery(document).ready(function(){ // Checks if user is using touch device. function isTouchDevice() { return 'ontouchstart' in window navigator.MaxTouchPoints > 0 navigator.msMaxTouchPoints > 0; } // Checks if user is using an iPad. function isiPad() { if ($('.dj_ios').length > 0 && $('.profile-tablet').length > 0) { return true; } else { return false; } } // Calls the microflow to refresh the order quantities, with flood protection (the time out). function callQuantityRefresh(currentElement, nextFieldToClick){ var $this = $(this); // Resets the function when it is called again, as flood protection. clearTimeout($this.data('timeout')); // Run the code on a short timeout to ensure it doesn't fire more than necessary. $this.data('timeout', setTimeout(function(){ // Retrieve data grid. var grid = dijit.byNode(dojo.query('.orders-grid')[0]); var trNodes = grid._gridRowNodes; // Retrieve current cell's row class name. var trClassName = currentElement.closest('tr').attr('class'); var indexNumber; // Update only the edited Mendix object, instead of the entire list. $.grep(trNodes, function(n, i){ if($(n).hasClass(trClassName)){ indexNumber = n['rowIndex']; var mxObj = grid._mxObjects[indexNumber]; // Call the microflow to refresh the quantity for the edited row. mx.data.action({ params: { applyto: "selection", actionname: "Registration.OCh_Order_Refresh", guids: [mxObj._guid] }, origin: this.mxform, callback: function callback(obj) { // If the microflow succesfully refreshes the PseudoSession in the client, then make sure to click the next item in the list. setTimeout(function(){ if (isTouchDevice() && isiPad()) { nextFieldToClick.click(); nextFieldToClick.click(); } else { nextFieldToClick.click(); } }, 100); }, error: function error(_error) {} }); } }); }, 100)); } // Checks whether a user is in an active input field and updates quantities when they leave the field. $('div').on('input', function(){ jQuery(document).ready(function(){ var newInputProcessed = false; // Ensures the next input field remains selected, when the user presses tab. $("input[class*='inlineEditBox_editable'").one("keydown", function(e) { var code = e.keyCode e.which; if ( code == 13 code == 9 ) { e.preventDefault(); // Cell that belongs to the MxObject that is being edited. var currentField = $(this).closest('tr').find("td[class*=mx-name-ordercount]"); // Retrieve element that is tabbed to by the user. var nextField = $(this).closest('tr').next('tr').find("td[class*=mx-name-ordercount]"); // Register user input has been processed, so it does not execute the second event handler. newInputProcessed = true; // Refresh the purchase orders' base units after user input, and select their next chosen input field. callQuantityRefresh(currentField, nextField); } }); // Ensures the user's next chosen input field remains selected, after Mendix has refreshed the data grid. if(newInputProcessed == false){ $("input[class*='inlineEditBox_editable'").one('focusout', function(){ // Cell that belongs to the MxObject that is being edited. var currentField = $(this).closest('tr').find("td[class*=mx-name-ordercount]"); $("input[class*='inlineEditBox_editable'").one('focus', function(){ var nextField = $(this).closest('tr').find("td[class*=mx-name-ordercount]"); // Refresh the purchase orders' base units after user input, and select their next chosen input field. callQuantityRefresh(currentField, nextField); }); }); } }); }); }); } 
submitted by Yo-yoProgrammer to learnjavascript [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 19:40 eliottruelove What would you want in a future update?

So my question is "what would you like to see in a future update?"
This was inspired by a post where I saw there is a woodchipper, which doesn't have any incredible use right now. I feel if you obtained it as a bundle reward, and if it could process a list of ingredients into "mulch" and "quality mulch" which acts as fertilizer, retaining soil, and speed grow all im one, then it would be awesome.
I feel the wallet could have a whole extra row. Perhaps have a crab pot charm, which enables you to fish for crab pot items in shallow water using a rod and bait. Maybe a spa membership which unlocks the second floor, that can act like a greenhouse. And perhaps a yearly bus pass that enables you to not have to pay each time.
An ability to duplicate save files within the "load" menu would be incredible, that way from certain points in a farm you could try out different career paths.
Edit: a trains schedule would be nice. The schedule could be randomized for each playthrough, but knowing when it arrives for the sweet drops might be something cool.
I'd like to see stumps regriw, that way you chop them down to stumps and get your wood, and they regrow from there. Would save you planting trees from scratch.
An "uncraft" or "recycel" option would be cool, where you can take old items like sprinklers and uncraft them to have their base resources again.
An iridium scythe to harvest crops with a swing.
A cave expansion that can make you be able to move the mushroom spawners and place casks inside, available at a certain level of friendship with the dwarf.
What ideas do you have?
submitted by eliottruelove to StardewValley [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 18:19 WarKittens28 A crew of newbies reflect on One Piece - East Blue through Alabasta

Hello, everybody!
About a year ago I made this post about introducing a single friend to One Piece. We had gotten to Sabaody at that point, and while I had wanted to update with his reactions through the Summit War Saga, I sadly didn't take good enough notes to do so. Since then I brought him to the present and even managed to get him to read the manga.
Fast forward about three months after I caught him up and I was wanting to watch through the series again, also with new viewers. I gathered up four friends (named here as S, Y, E, and O) who I had been trying to pester into getting into One Piece for years.
We agreed to get together online once a week and watch six episodes at a time. Six was the perfect number as it meant we weren't on for too long but also if someone missed a week they only had to watch one episode a day to catch up. Since we started we've occasionally done seven episode weeks, but not more.
Last week we finished the Alabasta arc and I asked them to fill out a short survey to get their thoughts. The results were shockingly varied, and I'll be summing them up here.
Please note that you likely won't agree with many of these. I know I don't, at least. I purposefully did not try to "correct" any assumptions or interpretations, or give them more info unless explicitly asked. This is purely to see how a group of new watchers are reacting to the series and what they were picking up on, not convert them into thinking like me or the fandom at large.
Any notes of my own will appear in [square brackets]

Favorite/Least Favorite Straw Hat

Favorite/Least Favorite Non-Straw Hat

Favorite/Least Favorite Villain

Favorite Arc

Note: I did not ask for least favorite arc, but after O's response I'm thinking I should have because damn is that interesting to see.

Favorite Fight

Favorite Devil Fruit

Moments that stood out to you.

Things you like about the series so far

Things you dislike about the series so far.

Predictions for the future of the story

Hopes for the future of the series

Questions you have that are lingering

Other Observations and moments

Sadly, S will not be watching with us any longer due to scheduling conflicts. Currently, a friend and I are trying to bribe him into reading the manga by reading multiple mangas of his choice in exchange.
If there's any reactions to certain moments or scenes let me know and I'll let you know how they reacted (if I can remember). If there's anything in the Skypiea saga you'd like me to make note of tell me know so I can prepare for the coming weeks.
TL;DR One Piece is great. No two people are the same. Reactions are fun.
submitted by WarKittens28 to OnePiece [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 07:37 allfloraleverything A too-long, tumultuous limerent story and the current state of limerence

I, like many, just found this sub and have a word for what's been happening to me. I wonder if recapping the story only encourages more rumination or if there is any release, especially in a space where others can relate?
A guy I worked with for about 1.5~2 years took an interest in me a couple years ago. Initially I was very apprehensive because we did not seem like each other's type at all. I couldn't figure out why he would be talking to me, but I entertained talking to him because I was curious. I found that he was actually kind of weird, in a way that I like, and wondered if we related on a deeper level. All of this was via IM at work -- my whole department was like this, we all sat in the same open floor plan office row, but everyone had headphones in all day so we all IM'd and rarely spoke face to face. It's very weird and awful.
There's early conflict, where I feel like he's negging me sometimes, backhanded compliments, asserting that he's better than me at ____ while having nothing to back it up, etc. I call him on it often, and he will 'listen'. He's preoccupied with being 'mysterious' so is very withholding, I call him on this too and tell him 'aloof' gets old fast, and that he should be more genuine with me. He says he agrees, and I'm thrown, because I can't tell if he's being sincere. But I let it be. There are a few times where I am disinterested in talking to him, during these times he initiates all conversation and I only respond. It's unclear if he even notices the change. But I get drawn back in.
It seems his interest in me or respect for me or.. something changes when I fix his laptop for him. He acts like I'm a superhero for it, but it was quite simple. There is a weird night where I remind him he still hasn't paid me, and he says he'll bring the money over, and asks for my address. He's been 'playfully' trying to figure out where I live for weeks. I never clearly tell him it makes me uncomfortable because I could never tell how serious he was or whether he realized that it's weird to badger a woman for her address. That night I get massive anxiety, but try to keep things 'light' and offer to meet him somewhere instead. He says he's upset that I won't give him my address. I am trauma responding probably at this point, because I can't figure out his motivations, I can't understand why he won't leave it alone, why he keeps pushing it, and yet he seems so oblivious the whole time. This night messes with me for days, I feel stressed and in a bad mood and unable to tell what's what. So, when he tells me the next weekend that he's just trying to be friends with me (after I tell him to go be mean to someone else), my body response defensively. I lash out, try to push him away, but I guess I really want him to pull for me in response. I think of this as LO day 1, because that declaration that he's trying to be friends with me sets off a process I didn't realize, in that from here on I'm constantly trying to get us to a place where I can be friends with him.
We get closer after this, and one day he walks into work and in classic imagery, it's like heaven's light shone down on him, because out of nowhere I realize I'm attracted to him. He's hot. Holy shit, what is happening to me? I try to put it out of my mind, all while we're talking more than ever, spending basically all day just learning about each other. This is the best part of our entire relationship. But it doesn't last long. We have a pattern of him belittling me, me not wanting to talk to him, and him wiggling his way back in. It turns into a big conflict, where I tell him I don't want to be treated like shit anymore. His response was to literally get up and leave for the day. I was livid, hurt, many intense feelings. The next day I bring the conflict to him, I tell him I need a response, he basically says he's working on it. This goes on for weeks. Then I tell him I'm done, I block him. Then 2 weeks later I unblock him, realizing he can't apologize if he's blocked. Usually when I am Done with a person, that's it. I have been very good at cutting people out of my life. But for an entire summer, I tell myself I'm Fucking Done but I can't stop thinking about him. All I want is for him to apologize, all I want is to matter. And throughout the summer, he keeps 'testing' to see if I'm still mad. Asking me for help with something, then trying to get into normal conversation. My feelings are all over the place, but I'm always stuck in reconciliation fantasy.
At the end of the summer, I give up. I feel.. helpless against him. Obviously I want to talk to him. And he wants to talk to me. So I figure, I'll let him see what the result of unresolved conflict looks like. I know this is going to come back bigger and worse than before. So we start talking again. And a few days later, I tell him I don't do IM anymore, and if he wants to talk to me, it has to be in person. I know this is a big Ask -- he pretty much doesn't talk to anyone in person. He's very reclusive like this at work. But he handles it fine, says sure, let's hang out on a break sometime. We never do. For 2 weeks, I wait for him to set something up, since my schedule is open but his is fixed, it's basically up to him.
We literally never do. One day I saw him heading out early, looking like he was leaving town. Not unusual for him. I notice the next week that he's gone longer than is usual for him. He finally comes back a week later, I see him while walking by his desk, and he looks terrible. He's always looked perfectly healthy, but this day his cheeks are hollowed, his skin looks dirty or grey or something weird, he looks like he just rolled out of bed. My adrenaline kicks in and I start having a really intense anxiety reaction. Later in the day, he walks down the aisle beside my desk with a woman I later find out is HR. He doesn't come back. More anxiety. The next morning, I realize his backpack and things are still at his desk -- he never returned. I ask around for information. Some say his skin was yellow, that his nose was bleeding, that he had not done any work all day, just stared at the screen blankly. He left in an ambulance. I lose my shit.
I text him, telling him I hope he's okay. My anxiety is so fucking high right now. I know I'm trauma responding, but why? No one else would have me this worried. There's no information about what happened to him, when he's coming back. A couple weeks go by, during this time I convince myself he's a hard drug user, that he came to work strung out after a bender. I convince myself of many different triggering scenarios. I reel myself back in and start over, trying to figure out what conditions could lead to someone so rapidly decaying like that, and being gone for weeks. This happened mid-September. I hear that he's supposed to come back in November. November 1 arrives, he isn't around. Okay, makes sense, no one said November 1. I start to calculate a return date from a theoretical rehab stay would be, and wait for those days. He doesn't return.
Luckily for me, my psychiatrist has been along for the entirety of this relationship. From day 1, when some weird guy kept talking to me, to the address thing, to being 'done' talking to him. So when this happens, she's just as enthralled and mystified. I confide to her how I have been obsessed. How I start to believe that since I cannot imagine anyone else triggering this kind of response in me (though I know much of it is based in a trauma history), that it means I care about him. I tell her that I have fantasies of being in love with him, and then say I'm in love with a fantasy version of him. I don't think she realizes what I'm saying, because next session while talking about him, she tells me, gingerly, that she thinks I'm in love with him. In one sense, I'm like "duh, I told you this", but in the other sense, her saying it to me almost solidifies it. Part of me knows I'm not really in love with him -- I don't even know him. I have just been trying, continuously, to really get to know him. Probably so that I could legitimately fall in love with him. But I still resign myself to the fact that I am, effectively, in love with him.
He never returns that November. I never hear an update on when he's returning, I only know that he's technically still employed, and therefore probably still alive. I cannot fathom anything that would have someone gone this long except very serious illness or addiction. The most worrying thing is that he never answered my texts, or anyone's. In December, I am still obsessed, but lose hope that I'll ever see him again. I text him merry christmas expecting nothing, but he texts back. Unfortunately, this was a very bad time for me, so I didn't even get to feel elation at hearing from him. However, the ball of anxiety inside me that's been spinning so fast it's threatening be torn apart by centripetal force, slows to a gentle rotation. I am relieved. He says he's had an infection, he doesn't know when he's come back, that he's been in the hospital. I try not to bother him, it's Christmas, and I'm probably the last thing on his mind. But I tell him he can write/text/call whenever. He doesn't, but now the anxiety is mostly gone at least. I don't fully trust what he told me, I still think it's possible he's in rehab or something (and through this experience I actually processed a lot of my own family/addiction trauma, which is incredible), and I'm not bothered by that. I'm glad he's okay. I hope to see him someday. I text him once a month, basically to check in and see how he is, without asking "how are you?" I just want to hear from him. I don't bother asking when he's come back.
COVID-19 hits. One day we're being told we have the option to work from home, and 2 days later it's mandatory. Mid-March, the same day the company starts working from home, he "returns" to work. Here we are, basically picking up where we left off and we don't even live in the same state anymore. He's a private person, so I do not ask for details on where the fuck he's been. I know he'll tell me when he's ready, or at least open the door. But we are literally where we left off -- we quickly get back into the same patterns. I've done a ton of growing through his absence though. Instead of doing the same cycles, I work to try new methods of working through conflict. Trying to get him to talk through different approaches, trying to get him to understand where I'm coming from. I put a lot of emotional labor into getting us to a place where we can be friends. I didn't go through six months of dread and anxiety just to take off the second we end up in the same pattern. We do have some good conversations, where I feel he's listening and hearing what I'm saying. But it always happens again, and more and more it feels like he simply has no recollection of what we talked about or what he agreed to/with. I feel tied to him. Tethered. At some point, he wants to talk like 'normal people' and I assume he's picked up on my limerence and is telling me to stop being a fucking weirdo. I'm hurt, but I agree, and my response is disproportional because what I do instead of 'cooling it' is to try to literally be a normal person. I'm not normal, I just try to emulate it based on how normal people interact with me and how I interact with normal people. I essentially tried to suppress myself until I manifested in some crazy regrettable shit wherein I 'confessed' inner thoughts to him as a ghost version of myself, while he was offline. I never told him I was in love with him or anything, but I did tell him a bit about how his disappearance fucked me up, and that I've never been in such a fucked up state of dread and panic for so long before. I never expected him to respond to those crazy ramblings, and he mostly doesn't (except when I hinted at my likely suicide), but I think even more gracious, he doesn't seem to be bothered by them, or judge me for them. But I already knew that, because for some reason, I have sort of always known that he accepted me beyond what is a normal level. All the emotional lashings-out when he would ignore me and my feelings, he took in stride. He could have just as easily called me crazy or dramatic and been done with me, but he never did. His steady patience has always been like a salve. There has always been a certainty to him that felt nourishing, having grown up with a lot of instability.
At one point earlier in the year, I resigned myself as tethered to him. That being unable to cut him off was a sign, that his inability to stop talking to me was a sign. And then after months of trying to get out of this fucking cycle, I try to change my mind. I hate changing my mind. But I know I can't say, "stop talking to me" again. Instead I try to bore him to death, to make him lose interest. I stop engaging him, respond minimally or in the most boring way possible. He just keeps on trying. It's hard not to see this as another sign, even knowing the pattern. Somehow though, one night we end up talking really intimately. Not sexually or anything, but I told him about a surgery I had over the summer which I never found a reason to tell him about. He shows concern, worry. He tells me he's glad I'm okay, even though the surgery was just elective sterilisation -- something I chose, planned. He has never really expressed care or concern for me. A girl we knew got fired once, and I remember the hurt I felt when he told me he was worried about her. He never seemed like he cared about anyone, but he was worried about her, and I couldn't imagine him ever worrying about me. But here he was, telling me he was glad I shared that with him, still worried if I was okay from a surgery now months-passed. Later on that night he told me more about what had happened to him while he was out for 6 months -- a series of surgeries and complications coming from an inherited disease he didn't know about. I have never felt so close to him, and I know he hadn't either. I know it was meaningful for him. The next week or so, we have a new level of closeness. He tells me more details about what he went through, letting on that it was much more complicated and harrowing than he originally told me. But he just talks about the experience more, about his thoughts on doctors and hospitals, he's no longer holding it in but sharing things with me. I'm trying not to be in love. I'm doing okay at it.
We have a big conflict. He says something which is really emotionally manipulative, and I feel like he's using my since-declared care for him against me. Realistically, I think it was a really bad flippant remark on his part, but it still hurt, and I at least needed that acknowledged and I wanted him to care that it hurt. I wanted an apology. But he doesn't do that. As ever, he pretended it never happened. I tell him I'm upset with him, he says he knows. This is how he handles shit, he simply "knows" I'm upset. But because of that fresh intimacy, it hits even deeper. I actually, finally started to trust him, and this happens. At some point, a week or so later, it finally, finally sets in. I finally understand. His conflict avoidance is never about me -- it never was. It's simply the only way he knows how to handle things. I am relieved, but this really doesn't bode well. If it isn't about me, there isn't anything I can do about it.
We go on in limbo for weeks, all the intimacy we had built up gone. In an argument, he even laments how he thought we were close, that he could share things with me. Silence, on and off, when he tries to talk to me again, I tell him we need to have a serious conversation about this. I ask him about why he avoids conflict, I try to get at the feelings behind it. I'm going out on a limb here, doing way more work for a man than I should, in that I'm trying to help him process his base motivations for it. I am genuinely trying to help him. I'm trying to find a workaround for this. I'm trying to get us back on track. It should be noted that he's 4 years younger than me, so my expectations are low already. But, he literally disappears from the conversation. A few days later, he tells me his "internet went out". Right, he wasn't running from a serious conversation, nope. He never offers to continue the conversation, as expected, and I realize nothing he's ever said has ever indicated that he wants to change, or even that he feels he needs to. I realize he sees himself in concrete terms -- 'this is just how I am'. I do fish around one day, asking him obtuse questions about himself and change, to verify my assumptions here. At the very least, nothing counters them.
At this point, I realize for my own well-being, I have to make a decision in support of myself. This pattern will continue ad infinitum until/unless he realizes it doesn't serve him. I cannot make him change. I wanted, at one point, to be there with him through growth. I accepted him 'where' he was, not 'as' he was -- the assumption was that he was going somewhere. But I can't depend on that anymore, and I can't let it keep holding me back. I make the decision, for the nth time, that I cannot talk to him anymore. He's not talking to me at the time, and I figure interrupting his silence to say "I can't talk to you anymore" would send a different message than I want. I'm not angry with him, upset with him. I am disappointed I guess, but I still care about him, I still hope he someday finds a way to grow into an emotionally available person. But I wait for him to come to me before I say it to him. As usual, he very softly asks my advice on some career stuff, apologising for bothering me, and I help him, as usual. Partly out of habit, partly because he does need this advice and I like helping people. And when he tries to get conversational, I tell him I can't talk to him anymore. He doesn't respond, no surprise. A few weeks later, no surprise, he apologises very sincerely and asks me for help with something simple. Not something he needs my specific help with, just a reason to talk to me. I tell him again. I have to tell him not to text me anymore either, because apparently he did not infer that.
So far, only a few weeks in, we have not talked. I do expect at some point that he will try to reach out again. I am in a different space than I was last year, and I think I will be more successful in being done with him. Of course, though it's a snowball's chance in hell, if he ever came to me ready to have a serious conversation, with an apology, with.. anything where he does the majority of talking, I would be all over it.
I have been trying to fill my mind with other obsessions, trying to ween myself off him. Searching for a crush. My brain still has him as a habit, my mind still whispering "I love you" to him, but at least now I do not go to bed every night thinking about laying next to him (just 5 nights a week). It feels literally like a habit, like I imagine reaching for a cigarette after quitting is.
Sometimes I get stuck thinking about 'the good times' -- how good it felt when he let me in, thinking about all the little things he trusted me with. Early on even, he was very tentatively open with me, telling me about his weird anxieties, about how he obsessively read a book 100s of times in his teens to the point where his family still makes fun of him for it. All the little ways he was trying to trust me, trying to get there with me too. It sucks. I still have no idea what his feelings toward me were. I want, like all of us limerers, to see all those tender things as signs, and of course go "no, but I think this was real." Like that time at work where after talking all morning we had to go to a group meeting, he got up and sped up to walk beside me, with me, instead of alone. He stayed next to me while we waited for the meeting room to open, while I awkwardly tried to make conversation and anxiously plugged my ears at the noise, and replay in my mind the way his arm went around me as he held the door when I went in before him. We ended up on opposite sides of the room and looked at each other, like each of us should be next to each other but somehow we got separated. And the times where he would actually call me to his desk for help on things I knew he understood. And the way he did it whenever he noticed I was helping someone else, like he wanted my attention too. And the way he was always shit-talking any other guy I mentioned, and sometimes even comparing himself to them, and sometimes trying to suss out what I liked about them (when I never 'liked' any of them), and asking what I would thinking if he did ___ thing like them. And how he got jealous of one guy because I liked his boots, and would bring him up all the time out of nowhere, sometimes referring to him as my boyfriend. The way he kept saying a mutual guy-friend and I were 'close', even though I kept telling him we absolutely were not. All the little things he would mention which showed that he paid attention to me, that he was observing me.. things I was wearing, noticing that I ducked out of a meeting when my anxiety got to me, who I talked to at work. And always seemed to be trying to reassure me as though I was jealous too -- a girl I talked to would bug him often (the one who got fired), and he always made sure I knew he didn't think much of her, not the way he thought of me. I never needed that reassurance, but I see he was projecting. Giving me the reassurance he needed from me. The same way he eventually (this year) started giving me approval/validation even though I've never needed it. It took me too long to realize that it was what he needed. He gave me what he needed (validation), and I gave him what I needed (care).
Even if any of that was real, I still cannot be with someone who can hurt me and pretend it didn't happen. Who will expect me to accept that. Even as a friend. I have imagined a million conversations where I try to explain this to him softly, should he ever ask. He never will ask why I can't talk to him anymore though. He will never face conflict head-on. Maybe someday I'll stop pining for that though. It has only been 26 days since I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore.
submitted by allfloraleverything to limerence [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 03:22 icropdustthemedroom CVIMCU RN here & author of this subreddit's sidebar megapost. Very proud of this new BRAIN SHEET I've made and thought I would share it all with you here for FREE! Also making a "the best nursing school supplement on the internet" YouTube channel for FREE and accepting video ideas!!

Hey all. I am the author of one of this subreddit's mega posts in the sidebar SEE HERE which helped hundreds of you previously, and I'm back to share something else that I hope many will find useful!
I'm now an RN BSN with 1.5 years' experience on a Cardiac Intermediate Care Unit at a Level 1 trauma teaching hospital, and I've been working on the perfect brain sheet for myself ever since I became an RN. This below is the real brain sheet I use daily at work and love, and I thought I'd share what I've come up with with you all for free! I see not just cardiac patients, but patients of all kinds and acuities, so I'd think this brain sheet would be useful on nearly any hospital unit (probably even pediatrics though I don't see peds).
GOOGLE DRIVE LINK TO THE PDF HERE.
Before I explain my brain sheet below and how I use it, I also wanted to announce I'm also making a YouTube channel!! I know there are many nursing-related YouTube channels out there...My goal is to make one that is the VERY BEST NURSING SCHOOL SUPPLEMENT on the internet. I will do my very best, for FREE, to teach you everything you ever wished you were getting out of nursing school but maybe aren't. It'll be similar to my megapost linked above in terms of quality content and real-world nursing tips, but much more.
I'll focus on things like: getting into nursing school, paying for nursing school (budgeting, fin aid tips, long-term considerations, and traps to avoid), how to land the best clinical placements in nursing school, thriving in clinical (real, tangible, actionable tips & tools, like this brain sheet!), best side jobs while in nursing school, Pharmacology (all the reliable and MOST USEFUL Pharm content you could ever want to know) and memorization tricks, NCLEX prep to rival some of the best NCLEX prep content out there (but for free!), skills review, specialty routes and how to pick, interviewing for RN jobs (choosing jobs to apply for, warning signs for jobs, the questions they'll ask in interview, how to respond, and what you should ask them), what new grad nurse orientation is like, devices you'll see in the hospital and how to use them, surviving your first year and thriving at it (real, practical tips), certifications (why/when to get them & how), intro to critical care nursing (enough to significantly prepare you if you go on to the ICU), unions, travel nursing resources and considerations, advanced practice routes, and more! Nothing in my YouTube channel will be content that I wouldn't be interested myself in watching even now for review as a working RN...I'm not going to be focusing on me or my life or "nurse lifestyle." I'm going to be focusing on content that to the best of my ability would be useful to ALL of you, and would rival the best nursing programs out there. In my past life I was also an HR Generalist & Manager for 2+ years and did about 1000 interviews on job applicants in that time, so I can help greatly with your job application prep. :) I ALSO WELCOME VIDEO / CHANNEL SUGGESTIONS AND IDEAS in the comments below! I'm starting filming soon.
Now back to this brain sheet... A quick walkthru of how I use the PDF each shift/work week, line-by-line to maximize your use (if you're interested in reading this part in detail): First of all, I typically work 3 nights in a row each week, and I use a multi-colored pen like these. On night 1, I write in black ink. When I come back the next night, for any updates on the patient I get, I write in a different color (e.g. write in blue for night 2 updates I get, write in green for night 3 updates). I typically use red only for things that I need to do urgently after receiving report. I print off 2 of these brain sheets on my night 1, because even though I only ever get a max 1:4 ratio, sometimes I'll get discharges/admits.
Line 1: Each night I write the name of my "buddy" RN, the other RN I'm paired with for the night. This is the person I handoff to when I go on lunch and vice versa, and the person I call first when I need another RN's help.
Line 2: The "Full Lookup Done" thing is for confirming I've FULLY looked up everything I need to know in the Electronic Health Record. I do this FULLY, and have a set list of things I look up for each patient at least on my Night 1. That list is for another post, but once I've done this for a patient and written down what I need to I check that box. I typically don't dig so much in the EHR on nights 2 and 3 because I typically know the patients pretty well by then.
Line 3: I write down my assigned CNA for this pt / room.
Line 4: Pt age/sex
Line 5: Code status. THIS IS BOLDED, IN WHITE TEXT AND BLACK HIGHLIGHT because I want to be sure to let anyone know of this info if I hand off this patient to them (like on my lunch). Same goes for every other box on the brain sheet: if it's a section that's BOLDED, WITH WHITE TEXT AND BLACK HIGHLIGHT, it means it's typically critical info to tell others if you're handing off the patient to them (e.g. CODE status, COVID status, primary diagnosis/why they're here, recent vitals, calls appropriately... etc.). Rows/boxes that are shaded fully grey are typically less-critical info...things that are less important (usually) to focus on to make sure your patient doesn't have a terrible outcome or die on your shift. :/
Line 6: Allergies (notice it's in grey, meaning it's important enough to write down, but I've not yet had a patient have a life-threatening allergic reaction in 1.5 years of nursing, so it's probably not critical to tell this to my buddy on my lunch so it's in grey)
Line 7: Weight and BMI (typically the admit weight or weight on my night 1, also in grey/not critical).
Line 8: Team (critical because I want to know EXACTLY who to contact and HOW [what pager #] if my patient starts deteriorating fast), so it's white background and not greyed meaning "critical" but not as critical as, say, CODE or COVID status.
Line 9: COVID or other isolation status (again, it's a white row but with white text and black background for the text with a warning icon because this is some of the most critical info to communicate to others)
Line 10: Admit date (not critical)
Line 11: Primary Diagnosis... what is the MAIN REASON this patient is here? This is super-critical, as whatever they're here for, there's a pretty good chance it could happen again usually (e.g. is the pt post-STEMI?), and whatever they're here for has undoubtedly certain unique risks associated that you should be trying to identify and thinking about.
Line 12: Admit Hx: What has there whole trajectory been since admission? Yeah maybe they came in for STEMI, but then what happened? Did they go to ICU for a while? Why? Did any other problems arise? Did they require surgery? PCI? Imaging? Pressors? How long have they been out of ICU? Etc.... Critical info (which is why this row is white and not greyed-out), but usually not quite as critical as their primary diagnosis, and the whole trajectory might not be critical to communicate to your RN buddy when you go on break.
Line 13: Relevant PMH. Oftentimes you can find like 30+ items of past medical history for your patient. Look at all those things, and then look at your next 12 hours with the patient, and consider their primary diagnosis and admit history. Write down generally only the things that you think will / could likely affect the patient in their next 12-24 hours. E.g. it might not be relevant that they had their appendix removed in 2005. But if the patient has sleep apnea, is congested, and is receiving sedatives?...that's probably very relevant. You get the idea. Write down what's probably relevant to this admission.
Line 14: Vitals. Very critical but I typically only write down stuff that is non-WDL, meaning "not Within Defined Limits." I don't write down if my patient has been typically getting blood pressures in the 110s / 80s...but I would write down if they're hypotensive, febrile, tachycardic, etc., and the relevant notify parameters set by the providers.
Line 15: Neuro. I work nights. Bed alarms are king. I mostly want to know if the patient is alert, oriented, calls appropriately, needs a bed alarm. This is the super-critical stuff your buddy RN mostly only cares to know too, unless your patient is experiencing acute/new neuro changes. RASS / CAM / GCS scores are helpful for giving data to all this but the actual data scores aren't typically critical for your buddy to know when you're only going to be gone for an hour.
Line 16: Amb/Device/Muscle/Falls. How does your patient ambulate, if they do? Do they do it independently (if not, again, do they need a bed alarm?)? Do they use any devices (like a front-wheeled walker)? Are they weak? Do they have a history of falls? Do they have bedrest orders due to a recent procedure / incision (sometimes pts can't get up for like 6+ hours or else risk bleeding)? Critical info to give on handoff even just for your break to your buddy RN.
Line 17: Pain. Does your patient have any PRN meds available, and if so, what and at what dosage(s)? Where's the pain and why? Any concerns for them getting/becoming oversedated? Critical info even for your lunch break.
Line 18: Cardiovascular. What rhythm is your patient in, if you know, and are they on telemetry? Are they having any known perfusion issues (peripherally or centrally), and are there any things we're watching out for related to those? Are they having any signs/symptoms that their heart is becoming more irritable/more prone to dysrhythmias (e.g. increasing in PVCs, runs of VT, increasing QTc length)? This stuff is critical to tell, ANYTIME you give handoff, if it's known.
Line 19: Respiratory. Is your patient using/needing any respiratory devices (e.g. nasal cannula, mask, CPAP)? Are they on continuous pulse ox at bedside or remotely? Are they taking off their respiratory device without telling you and falling asleep / any need for continuous pulse ox (e.g. OSA pt that declines respiratory devices)? All of this is critical to tell, even for a brief handoff while on lunch.
Line 20: Diet. Can your patient eat anything if they call? Are they NPO at 0000? Is their a limit on how much more fluid they can have? Have they had really high or really low blood sugars that your buddy needs to know?
Line 21: Other GI. This is less-critical to tell your buddy in a brief handoff, except for maybe how the patient voids (e.g. BSC) if they call.
Line 22: GU. How are they voiding (e.g. urinal while in bed)? Are they having dangerously low UO ( < 0.5 mL / kg / hr), and if so is team aware? Are they having retention and need to be catheterized soon? All critical info.
Line 23: Skin. Do they need to be turned Q2 or sooner to prevent/heal any ulcers? When were they last turned? Possibly important for your buddy to know on your lunch, but less critical.
Line 24: Active wounds. Do they have an ulcer? A skin tear? A groin site that's been oozy that we're watching? Misc Devices means things like wound vacs, chest tubes, or other miscellaneous devices that, if knocked over or messed up can often hurt the patient pretty quickly.
Line 25: Drips. What do they have running now / soon, why, and at what rate(s)? Did you verify the concentration of the drip and rate? Is the bag going to run out soon?
Line 26: Labs. Not TYPICALLY critical for your buddy to know while you go on lunch break, BUT share it if it provides insight: "Frank has been having more PVCs this shift than usual, but I called the team and we think it may be because he has a K+ of 3.5 right now so I just gave him 40 mEQ of K+ 15 minutes ago so hopefully that will improve soon. Team wants to be paged if he starts having more than 10 PVCs a minute or becomes otherwise symptomatic."
Line 27: Pt-specific / family. Any patient characteristics or patient / family preferences that are critical for your buddy to know if they have to go in the room? E.g. "This patient is comfort care but the family has not yet fully come to terms with it so PLEASE don't directly or indirectly refer to death and dying if you go in the room."
Line 28: Hospital plan and discharge plan. Not CRITICAL for your buddy to know usually when you're going on lunch (which is why it's greyed out), but you should look at the doctor, RN, and Case Management notes and talk with your other RNs and Charge RN to try to figure this out!
Line 29: Risks. Now look at EVERYTHING above and ask yourself, "What are the greatest RISKS for this patient over the course of my shift? Falls? Hypoxia? Another STEMI?" etc. etc. THIS STEP IS CRITICAL, otherwise someday you will be caught off-guard. Every good nurse does this step each shift!!!
Line 30: Day 2 3 4 RN. This is just where I write down who I'm giving handoff to on Day 2 (i.e. at the end of my Night 1 shift), Day 3 (end of my Night 2 shift), and Day 4 (end of my Night 3 shift). At the start of each shift when receiving handoff, I ask the other RN "are you back tomorrow?" If they say yes, I write their name down for that next day so I remember the next morning that they had this patient and don't need to hear EVERYTHING again, they only want to hear the updates.
Line 31: Gave Handoff. I just use a checkmark here at the end of every shift to absolutely confirm I gave handoff at the end of the shift. Your brain can play tricks on you at the end of a long 12-hour shift!
Backside / Page 2: This is a stripped-down version of page 1. This is just for RECEIVING BRIEF HANDOFF from my buddy RN when THEY go on lunch, during which time I will briefly have 8 patients (their 4 and my 4). These are the absolute need-to-know things I make sure I always know about their patients. The first table is for my Night 1 receiving my handoff from my buddy. The duplicate tables below that are for my Night 2 and Night 3, in case I have a different buddy with different patients (or if I have the same buddy but with some different patients due to admits / discharges).
And that's it!
I love this brain sheet because it makes life easy for me in a number of ways: 1) I know what to ask about when receiving report (I especially look for boxes for the patient that have no text in them yet), 2) it helps me with what to look up for my patients in the EHR and do it more quickly, 3) it helps me give a fast handoff by giving only the critical info when I'm going on break, 4) it helps me RECEIVE a FAST handoff by using page 2 on the back to get only the critical info on my buddy's patients when my BUDDY is going on break, 5) it helps me not to forget to give handoffs on all my patients when leaving after a long shift (nurses have done this! forgetting to give handoff on 1+ patients!) :/, and 6) it helps me give a SUPER thorough, system-by-system handoff when I am leaving a shift, knowing that I am giving a very organized and thoughtful handoff without forgetting anything. This system-by-system approach is also great practice for ICU if you ever intend on working in one as that's what they do up there! Using color-coding for your day 1, day 2 updates, day 3 updates takes this all to a whole new level, at least for me.
Anyway, hope this helps you all. I know my brain sheet might not be for everyone, but I would guess many here would like it and I put so much work into this that I couldn't not share -- and I welcome any suggestions or ideas for the YouTube channel! Thank you!
submitted by icropdustthemedroom to StudentNurse [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 21:17 kshade_hyaena Top and bottom end grey scale blending together when using HDMI on USB-C dock

I'm having a weird issue with my USB-C dock, an Icybox ib-dk4050-cpd. When I connect a laptop to it, the colour reproduction on the external monitor, attached to the dock's HDMI port, seems fine, except that the top and bottom end on the monochrome range blends together completely. This does not happen when I use the built-in HDMI of the laptop.
Here's an approximation of the problem: https://i.imgur.com/RVfwpHO.png It's really noticeable in my e-mail program, which uses a faint grey as background colour every other row. It's invisible when I use the dock, except when another window's shadow darkens it. Then the striping is visible in the shadow, but nowhere else.
I've also taken a photo, the whole image should be bars of different shades, but the difference is only visible on the left: https://i.imgur.com/oYLyPJU.jpg
The problem doesn't happen with colours. A super-dark blue (#000002) next to black still looks different, so does an ever so slightly lighter blue.
Troubleshooting steps and research done:
submitted by kshade_hyaena to techsupport [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 16:02 SomeFix Ryzen System Not Booting Intermittently (Build List Below)

Hello all,
I've had this problem ever since I built this system earlier this year. It doesn't happen too often but it is very frustrating when it does. About 1 in 5 start ups, my computer wont boot. I power it up and it only sits at a black screen. My motherboard lights up DRAM as the issue to not boot. I've reseated it a few times but never solved the issue. So now all I do is hit the reset button whenever that happens and it boots up just fine. There are rare occasions that it does it twice in a row and I have to reset until it boots. Everything is updated as it should be. Could this be a case where the RAM isn't compatible with Ryzen? Any input is greatly appreciated

Build List:
submitted by SomeFix to pcmasterrace [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 10:11 Ent3rpris3 Is this normal, and was I coerced out of a proper schedule?

A bit of a long post, and I'm kind of new to this so I apologize if I mess up on formatting, acronyms, or just come off as a completely oblivious nutjob. I didn't consider this forum as an option for information until recently and up to this point I'm kind of flying blind. Hell, I'm not even sure this is the right place for this post but I don't really have many other options at the moment.
After a year of...uncertainties, I applied for a job at one of my local Walmart stores. There are 4 in my area, and I check marked all of them. I had done register work elsewhere for years, and felt I had "done my time", thus applied for every position available except cashier (This was mid-late August 2020). Of the options available, the only time slots to apply for any position at any store in the area were 4am - 1pm, 7am - 4pm, and 1pm - 10pm.
After a hiccup or two (that I'm still bitter about), I finally got a call to start my orientation mid-October, indicating that the shifts I would be initially scheduled would be 10pm - 7am. This is outside of the time slots I applied for (and not even an option at the time), but I knew nothing about the employee life of this company and, much like my former employment, assumed everyone started this way and worked their way up, or they were just 'training shifts'; this would not work for my schedule long-term, but I could make it work for a few weeks while I got the ball rolling to set myself up for regular, more time-accommodating shifts. I show up to my orientation Monday morning, and begin the computer modules and preliminary paperwork. I am with 3 other people, who are all new hires like myself. After gauging the room during a break, we determine that we are all initially scheduled for this 10pm - 7am time slot, despite all of us submitting applications for time slots between 4am and 10 pm, and nothing else. While they did not have the severity of scheduling conflicts I did, this was something we said we would follow-up on later if things did not go as intended. One has since quit because of these conflicting time slots, and myself and one other have resumed our job search with renewed vigor, as Walmart was intended to be an intermediary until we were able to find employment elsewhere (Been looking for two years with no progress on my end).
During this orientation stage, we are presented with "True Availability Forms", which have language suggesting that the contents of this form will dictate, in some capacity, our work schedule or availability to be scheduled. Our Personnel Coordinator, let's call them 'Z', told us to fill in the "When I can work" section as 10pm - 7am, all 7 days of the week. I initially raised concerns that this differed from what I applied for and was not representative of my actual, true availability, but was informed that "this is normal, you just fill it out to match your current schedule" (as we had already all been scheduled for 2 weeks worth of shifts on the app). This didn't sit well with me, but I did as instructed; after all, I know nothing about this place, but had heard good things from a few people I trust.
I've floated the idea that "Well, they told me when I'd be working going into orientation, and I agreed so that's on me." I knew you could move departments, but not that it would be a bureaucratic nightmare to do so, AND that I would be instructed to submit forms differing from my actual availability, unaware that apparently the only person capable of correcting this (Z) was the very person who told me to misrepresent my interests in the first place. Maybe I should have protested more, but that's not a position anyone should be in in the first place. Apparently if I had said "No, I don't want to stock overnight" or made up some excuse to delay my orientation, I could have eventually been contacted for a more accommodating position at a more accommodating time.
Cut to the end of orientation and the beginning of our nightly shifts. We are taught the basics of how to do the job (stocking and zoning overnight, often in grocery), and put to task, sometimes in teams, other times independently. I don't know who is my supervisor or superior outside of one person (Who apparently is one of three equal ranked people in that shift, with there being one or two other levels of pay difference between myself and them), nor anything about the structure of the store or who can help with what problems. I'm not a particularly assertive person, especially in unfamiliar environments, and Z presented themselves as 'reading from the powerpoint because they don't bother to learn the content themselves' level of competence and understanding of my inquiries - "Neither of us care if switching shifts this week means we don't have our days off consecutively. We both thought this through and are capable of realizing the ramifications of this decision, and still intend to make this switch anyways. Spending 10 minutes trying to talk us down over 'consecutive days off' is not helping anyone." I didn't believe they could be the kind of person to assist me, and considering the 'by-the-book-nature' that others had warned me about, I was am worried that attempting to fix my situation via 'channels' will just put me on Z's radar to prevent me from getting help elsewhere by going behind their back. I was eventually told to talk to 'A', another department manager, and that they could streamline the process to get me moved into their department next time they have a vacancy. It's shady, I know, but I have tried twice now to get help and Z doesn't seem to understand that I even have a concern. Hell, I've asked several people and I still don't know what CAP1 or CAP2 is! do either apply to me? The cherry on top - I find out two days into the job from one of my newly-hired-compatriots that all 4 of us were hired for seasonal work I still don't even know what that means.
I've since had to call in sick because I tested positive for COVID (didn't have test results until after calling in 5 days, will I get those 'refunded' since I put in my stuff on Sedgwick and am a confirmed case taking a LeaveOfAbsence?). [The first day I called in sick was also supposed to be day one of NINE shifts in a row, with no input on my part - if presented to me, I would have taken a weekly hour cut to prevent 9 consecutive shifts (straddling the mid-week cutoff, so no scheduled overtime). I never would have agreed to that]. The approximate time I was scheduled to return (thankfully after receiving a phone call from Z offering a 'let us know if you need anything, and come back whenever you told Segdwick you'd be back'), my store was closed due to a higher-than-average quantity of COVID cases linked to the store. I received no information from Walmart about this (though there's probably like 300-ish employees, I would understand a phone call is not likely, but at least an update on the app that I'm still being scheduled for?), and would not have known anything was wrong if not for a friend sending me the news story and asking 'is this your store?' An hour later I had given up on those phone call attempts to my store (as I had no other numbers to contact people from that store) and called one of the other stores in my area;
"I don't know, let me ask my supervisor." "I don't know, let me ask MY supervisor." "Hmmm...I'm not sure, let me ask MY supervisor." "They said to just stay at home and wait for someone from your store to contact you."
My store is still closed, and I've yet to be contacted (9 days later) in any capacity about when or if I will return to work (Though 2 hours ago I got an update that I've been scheduled for several days in mid-December).
Who am I supposed to contact other than the landline of my currently-closed store when I
  1. need to know when to go back to work,
  2. need to change my true availability to better reflect the times I applied for,
  3. what kind of time frame can I expect #2 to take effect (if I can even do it in the first place?),
  4. need to know how to switch departments despite being a seasonal hire (If it can be done),
  5. how to contact A when they are never at the store the same time as me, and I do not know when they ARE working or if they're on vacation (I don't believe in contacting people on their personal devices when they are not at work. I may have concerns that only you can fix, but I respect your personal time, especially if we aren't at that level of communication yet),
  6. ensure I do not get scheduled 9 days in a row without any sort of input or pre-emptive warning allowing me time to fix it before it's set in stone,
  7. need to figure out if my 5 absent-days were 'refunded' because I essentially took a LOA for COVID,
  8. confirm my COVID paperwork was properly processed and PTO is correctly applied,
  9. confirm whether or not I am a seasonal employee, or
  10. set myself up with the resources to get these answers before I have to resort to reddit because I have yet to find out how to navigate anything on my own.

In hindsight this sounds a lot like "Wah, my life is hard and people aren't giving me stuff on a silver platter" (And you might be right), but I honestly didn't even realize how annoying or serious of a problem I was in until I started this post and actually saw my problems listed next to each other. Was there a pamphlet that I missed, or something I didn't understand or overlooked? I can understand if a family business or newly-founded company had this many unknowns with this degree of uncertainty, but for the pinnacle of 'nation-wide corporate organization' this seems like the kind of anomaly that the system is designed to prevent.
When all is said and done, the big, glaring question: Is this normal?
submitted by Ent3rpris3 to walmart [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 09:36 A-Rookie Some things I would want for the global christmas celebration

The Thank You celebration will end in a few days and I have some things I would love to see come to global. Not talking about specific events like the Category SBR stages (which need to come to global) but rather some stuff from last year I'd love to see return this time around.
Putting a TL;DR here - would like another great login bonus (with a suggestion like mine), the return of the Hercule Gifts, the Santa Roshi Social Media campaign and another EZA Survey. Would also love the baba shop update to finally come to global and I don't want a global first unit to come for 3 reasons. Shit banner, a unit who can't keep up with the other units we have gotten in the past year and the global shenanigans that come with a last minute planned GF.
  1. The Login Bonus - the Christmas logins have been great in my opinion. What I personally would want if I could choose is 10 DS, 1 God Stone and some candy canes. Obviously though I won't complain if it's a good login like last year.
  2. Hercule's Login Gift Campaign - feels like its been a while since global has gotten this. Christmas would be a perfect time to bring this back. Also if I am not stupid, it got a good update on JP and I don't know if global got it or not so I would love to see it. Also we just got the Golden Weekend missions which also came last year, so this would compensate for this celebration if this were to come.
  3. The Baba Shop update - i don't see why we haven't gotten this update yet. Seriously where is it? Not fair that JP has had this for a year now and it never came. I actually think it's a bigger deal than the Kale and Caulifia EZA because let's be honest, yall could care less about the units over the free shit EZA's give you. They are just as impressive to me as SSJ3 Broly tbh. EZA wise, God Toppo beats both of them in my opinion.
  4. The EZA Survey. This shit was AWESOME for global, at the end we got 2 amazing EZA's and both were global firsts. I would LOVE to see this come back, banner units aside we are only 1 main EZA behind JP, INT Kid Buu. Personally if I were to choose, I would gladly take Super Gogeta and Janemba for the fact that we need better versions of those characters, whereas no matter how good the SSJ4's become, they will have to compete with the LR's until Dokkan deliberately sets up new modes to shit on those units. JP is about to get their next EZA though, so we'll see.
  5. The Santa Roshi Campaign - they didn't have to do this last year but they did and let's be honest, I think global dokkan has done an amazing job with the social media shit. Last year had a ton of free shit from doing nothing, so I definitely think this will return seeing as global just did this for the recent celebration that's about to end in a few days.
  6. NO BULLSHIT - for real I really want a global christmas celebration that doesn't have something stupid happen. I dont want a global first unit seeing as the last 2 years of Christmas have brought global first units that pale in comparison to the quality of unit we gotten even within 3 months AFTER they come out, let alone within the last 12 months. Transforming Vegeta, Metal Cooler and Super Buu to me were better than hit and I love SSBKK Goku but no way am I going to call him better than Cooler, Frieza, Gohan, SSJ4 Gogeta and so on. The only one id argue is comparable is maybe Exchange Buu since 40% DMG Reduction alone is ass, but even he at least has a strong case as to why one could argue he is better. Not to mention we've always seen schedule issues and the banners usually being awful for global since akasuki seems to last minute a half-assed unit for global but doesn't plan the schedule around it. Seriously I thought DaTruthDT was smoking too much weed when he kept saying that GF's were more of a liability than a victory for global, but when you really take a look at the 2 celebrations before and what happened as a result, he's actually got a point. After 2 years of disappointment, at least when it comes to Christmas I DO NOT WANT A GLOBAL FIRST unit. If we do get one which I hope doesn't happen, they better actually be on the level of Gohan or SSJ4 Gogeta or better and global better not get a shitty celebration thinking a glass cannon unit is good enough to carry a bad celebration, 2 years in a row.
submitted by A-Rookie to DBZDokkanBattle [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 20:01 F1-Editorial 2020 Bahrain GP Free Practice 1 and 2 Debrief - r/Formula1 Editorial Team

2020 Bahrain GP Free Practice 1 and 2 Debrief

Words by UnmeshDatta26 and ZeroSuitFalcon

Links

Live Session Discussion Threads

ICYMI

A Word on Some Drivers

As we already know, Fernando Alonso is set to replace Daniel Riccardo at Renault next year, creating a Spanish-French duo for the French works team. Alonso is reportedly very optimistic and involved with the team, already participating in a “filming day” with Renault. He has stated he wants the new car in the wind tunnel on January 1st of the New Year. Alonso also “anticipates” a WDC challenge, as “the last time we fought against a 7 time World Champion, we beat him.”
Additionally, Sergio Perez of Racing Point has announced that he will take a sabbatical of his own from Formula 1 if he is unable to secure the second Red Bull seat currently occupied by Alex Albon. This news came after the Sergio Perez Media Machine reported Perez had the Red Bull seat locked up with a 99% chance, which has since dropped to 95%.

Hamilton Doubles Down on Saudi Arabia

Earlier this month, Formula 1 confirmed the addition of the Saudi Arabia GP for the 2021 season, much to the outcry of media, fans, and one Lewis Hamilton. Hamilton believes races should not be held in countries with recent human rights violations. This, coupled with the main sponsor of the Saudi Arabia GP, Aramco, being state owned (along with Petronas in Malaysia), is not a good look as it brings human rights abuses together with Formula 1.
Saudi Arabia have come out and stated they aren’t trying to “sportswash their country” but that does little to convince anyone of the contrary. With global headlines like the 2018 murder of Kashoggi and recently moving women’s rights activist Louain al-Hathloul’s trial to terrorism court (she has been in jail awaiting her trial since May 2018), Hamilton and others’ concerns about Saudi Arabia are certainly justified.

Track and Tech Talk

Heading into the Middle East, temperatures have always been a concern, as the region brings hot weather to Bahrain every year. But this year, the script has been flipped and the track is much colder than expected. The track temperatures are near 24C, whereas normally the track is cooking at around 36C every other year. The weather forecast shows a lot of overcast weather with some gusty periods expected which threatens to bring a lot of sand from the neighboring sand dunes onto the tarmac. This causes a lack of grip on the track from the sand sticking to the hot rubber.
With Pirelli getting ready to introduce new tire compounds for the 2021 season, they have elected to bring the 2021 C3 compound to today’s proceedings. Each team has to complete 6 timed laps on the new tires. Each car works with 2 sets of test tires, the second to cover any potential flat spots or lockups. These tires are provided separate from the regular allotments.
For the actual race weekend, Pirelli brings their middling set for the weekend, the C2, C3 and C4 tires, one step softer than last year. Interestingly, Pirelli rates the track abrasion at a 5, their maximum rating for the metric. The track relies heavily on traction and braking for grip rather than lateral loads, which means that the cars should be able to keep the tires alive for much longer. But if sand constantly blows onto the track, traction could be significantly lower than usual. Also with the track being as aggressive as it is, the tires could pose problems for drivers when they reach the end of their life.
The cars are expected to have a medium to high downforce setup, with more focus on the front end to keep the car stable through the various complexes. The drivers will have to adjust the brake balance at a few points on the track, with the key points being just before Turn 9 and just after Turn 10, as braking a few meters off of the ideal point at Turn 9 could cause severe lockups. One thing we know for sure, the lap record of 1:31:447 by Pedro de la Rosa set in 2005 is sure to be broken this weekend.

Free Practice 1: Cloudy with a chance of ruined tires

As FP1 began on a cloudy evening in Bahrain, we saw two familiar names return to the track. Roy Nissany drove for Williams in the place of George Russell and Robert Kubica took the place of Kimi Räikkönen for Alfa Romeo. They performed in decent fashion and gathered valuable data for their teams.
The FIA have updated the track limits for Turn 4. Any driver not keeping at least one tire on the track (white line, this week) will suffer lap deletions. Kvyat found this quite cruel, adding some constructive criticism for Michael Masi, the Race Director.
As is the theme of Friday running, the teams mainly focused on testing various parts on the cars. McLaren tested a new floor design on Norris’ car and many teams ran aero rakes behind the front wing, including Gasly and Leclerc. Leclerc’s car also had a curious light placed on the underside of the floor, possibly to test the flex on the floorboards according to Ted Kravitz. Gasly was curious when he spotted it, enquiring about it on his own radio. But the cars got faster as the day progressed: lap times dropped by nearly 2 full seconds over the course of the 90 minute session, showing promising track progression.
The amount of rubber on the track was low on opening laps, even after the WEC had their 8 hour race on the track a few weeks ago. Paul di Resta, on the Sky broadcast, said that the wind has affected the rubber on the track as the sand can scrub it away. The result? The main attribute of the entire session was the number of lockups that the drivers faced at Turn 10. Turn 10’s camber drags the car to the outside of the turn naturally, and any lockup exacerbates the problem further.
Bottas was the worst offender, with more than 4 lockups at the complex of Turn 9 and 10. Many other drivers join the pain, with Perez and Grosjean locking up heavily and ruining fresh sets of tires completely.
Karun Chandhok suggested that the problem was because of incorrect usage of the brake bias on the cars. A brief note: brake bias, or the distribution of braking power to the front and rear tires, is typically expressed as a percentage - 50% is balanced front and rear, amounts greater than 50% favors the front tires. Because of the weight and load distribution of the cars, typical corners call for heavy front bias, somewhere in the 57-58% range.
On Lewis’ laps, he tended to set the brake bias to 55% heading into the Turn 9/10 complex, and then reset it to 57-58% after the turn, whereas Bottas and Perez hadn’t changed the bias at all through the two turns.
With the end of the season challenging reliability, Ocon started off his session with complaints of rear imbalance and rear vibrations. He even noted that his front right tire completely lifted off the ground at Turn 11, a dangerous and unusual sight considering how modern F1 cars are balanced. He was brought back to the pits and it seemed like there was an issue with his rear suspension being out of balance. Luckily he headed off to the track later on with no further problems.
Norris complained of his bottom steering wheel toggle not working, a toggle that controls the engine braking. His team managed to fix it soon enough, and the Brit was back on track.
Possibly the most interesting point to take away from this session is the number of soft and hard tires that were spoilt from severe lockups and spins. Grosjean completely ruined his tires at Turn 6 and went into the gravel for good measure. Leclerc suffered a bad spin coming out of Turn 2 and flat spotted his tires as well. Verstappen suffered a snap of oversteer at the exit of the last corner and locked up another set of soft tires.
Coupled with the hard tires ruined from the Bottas and Perez lockups, it certainly doesn’t bode well for some drivers in terms of having enough fresh sets of each tire for the race after more practice and qualifying. Each driver only gets 8 sets of soft tires and 2 sets of hard tires, any tires they can preserve now can help them in the race and the lockups and spins haven’t helped their effort.

Free Practice 2: Albon crashes, everyone oversteers, dog rules the day

The Mercedes’ struggles continued into the beginning of FP2; Bottas in particular suffered from understeer as his front tires refused to bite and Bottas found himself going straight off the track. The replay showed his front wing oscillating wildly up and down. The problems didn’t stop there, as both of the Black Arrows were unable to put down the power smoothly on the back straight, much to the amusement of Max Verstappen.
The race track continued to rubber in with high fuel runs until Max Verstappen went against the status quo and set a 1:29.318 on mediums, 1.6 seconds faster than the field at the time. His time survived the majority of the session until Hamilton decided to set a 1:28.971 on softs later on.
Multiple cars seemed to have sustained minor damage to their floors, a consequence of running too high on the curbs, which has been a recurrence all season. Charles Leclerc was able to catch his car from what surely would have been a disastrous crash at Turn 11.
Alex Albon, the man on the chopping block, was on a fast lap and was starting to show some pace, but as he came around the last corner he understeered into the dust and subsequently spun as he skipped through the gravel and into the barrier.
The session was immediately red flagged as the marshals worked to recover Albon’s car. The camera shots showed significant damage to the rear of Albon’s car, calling into question the integrity of the gearbox. Post-session, Red Bull boss Christian Horner stated Albon’s gearbox was a practice one so it doesn’t affect his race allocations; the engine and chassis were otherwise in good condition. The mechanics crew still have a long night ahead of them, as the rear bodywork and both front and rear suspension need to be replaced.
Albon’s car was quickly removed, and just as the track had a green flag, it turned red again; this time due to a dog finding its way onto the track. Hamilton was especially concerned while Sebastian Vettel decided for an impromptu karaoke session. As the track was cleared once again, Hamilton set the fastest time of the session with a 1:28.971 on softs.
The rest of the field was relatively tame: Alpha Tauri found both of their cars in the Top 10 along with both Racing Points, Daniel Riccardo’s Renault and Lando Norris’ McLaren. Alfa Romeo, Haas and Williams alternated positions to round out the backmarkers; George Russell was notably last, a sizable 6 tenths behind his teammate - he had some quick times today but they several were deleted for track limits.

Predictions for Tomorrow

UnmeshDatta26
On a Friday, the actual pace of a car is never really visible, especially on a weekend with new compounds being tested. However, some truths seem inevitable: Mercedes looks as fast as they have been and Red Bull looks good in comparison. Max was only 4 tenths slower on mediums than the Merc pair, but there are too many extenuating circumstances with fuel loads and strategies to suggest anything definitive about the car’s pace.
A lot of the drivers suffered throughout the day with tire grip, and I think that there is room for some crazy events tomorrow, especially in qualifying, where the drivers are under high pressure over a lap. If there is rain at the track, it can wash away the rubber, causing all of today’s work to be wiped clean again. Renault and McLaren look faster than Ferrari on this track and Sainz seems to be more confident about his approach to the weekend. I expect to see a Renault on the second row of the grid along with Racing Point and McLaren fighting in a close pack. I don’t foresee Ferrari finding pace at this point of the season.
ZeroSuitFalcon
Max Verstappen especially showed good pace today, only 4 tenths slower on mediums than Mercedes on soft with differing fuel loads. AWS debuted a new graphic today and I am inclined to believe it for the most part. Bottas, in my opinion, has struggled with his car more than anyone else and this will continue into tomorrow and potentially the race. I do disagree with their placement of Vettel and Leclerc. I think they might be able to find some setup changes to help balance out the car tomorrow. Renault cannot be ignored either - after Mercedes, they have the engine with the highest peak speed which will be a great advantage for them tomorrow.
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2020.11.27 19:38 Ecstatic_Beginning The WMR Nightmare gets worse, WAY WORSE.

So yesterday evening, after posting this and after continuing to try to get the G2 to retain calibration settings after restarting SteamVR, I discovered what PART of the problem is, and I made a new, exciting, positive discovery along the way through troubleshooting.
There was an issue where physical head movement with the G2 on did not correlate to movement within the SteamVR home virtual space, and it was only after restarting SteamVR (having recalibrated and re-recalibrated the Index controllers about 4 out of these times) about 7-8 times did I want to determine if the problem also presented in Cliffhouse. It was then and only then that after trying to enter Cliffhouse was I greeted to the lavender screen that prompts you to "Look up, Look Left and Look Right" that I realized what the issue was. The issue is that I never use Cliffhouse, I bypass it completely, and there is no indication on the WMR window that sits on the desktop that your HMD is not calibrated.
So all of the times earlier that day that I thought that the controllers weren't calibrated (they were, the Index controllers were appearing in SteamVR Home and were usable, they were just like 10 feet away from me, this was the actual culprit.
Nowhere in any of the set-up guides is this mentioned, and I suppose that this is something that can only be learned through about 10 hours of "fun".

To add to the "excitement" of this discovery, I was treated with a new, "exciting" bug. This bug presents like this: you can't see your mouse cursor over half of the display. Correctly deducing that either SteamVR or WMR is the problem, when you attempt to close SteamVR, hovering the mouse pointer over the close window button produces an "expand / stretch Windows" icon and if you press that anyway it will lock up your PC. Ctrl+Alt+Delete does not bring up Task Manager. Nothing works. Youre forced to hard shut down the PC. This problem presented about 5-6 times in a row until, that's right, I was treated to a Blue Screen after reboot, and then again, and you know what time is when this happens, that's right, YOU CAN REINSTALL WINDOWS!!!!!!! But long before that eventuality, Logitech GHUB bugs out and uninstalls itself and now all of your settings are gone! This isn't the first time this has happened, and enough hard resets WILL do this, so I have a back up of the settings.json and all folders there at "C:/ > Users > User > Appdata > Local > LGHUB for this purpose. But if this is the first time happening to me and you have both your keyboard and mouse using GHUB, it's pure joy!
Also, if youre like me, and you LOVE Windows and Windows programs SO MUCH that youre quite acquainted with having to do this, you have a regularly updated System Image on an external drive precisely for this situation. My most recent System Image puts me back to the 22nd of November. No big deal right? Unfortunately all 30-40 of my Edge Canary tabs spanning various subject matter are gone and can not be retrieved. But that's ok, at least I didn't have to reinstall Windows!
But the fun continues! Because even after restoring from System Image, some 3-4 hours later at 3 am when you get up to use the bathroom and check on the PC and you still see "An operating system wasn't found. Try disconnecting any drives that don't contain an operating system. Press Ctrl+Alt+Delete to restart".
So, with the repair media still plugged into the PC, and restarting and selecting boot device via F12, Samsung 850 Evo appears among the bootable devices, and selecting that takes me to Windows?! But restarting and the problem "An operating system wasn't found..." still presents. So back into BIOS and sure enough, somehow, the boot order was changed! But likely this is just because Windows got nuked so hard from the hard reset that it jettisoned itself completely from the list of boot devices.
Anyhow, the fun continues!
Did I tell you how much fun this bug with the Samsung Odyssey G9 is where the display will go to sleep (by timer or if shut down with NirCMD like I do) and not turn back on and the only solution is to hard reset the PC? This normally happened about once a day, once every other day, but NOW, with the G2 also plugged into the GPU and adding to the fun, it happens, 3-4 times a day?! So what must be done now is that if one wants to reduce the incidence of that, and if they want to actually TURN OFF their G2 them must physically disconnect power from the trident connector! I mean it's not THAT big of a deal, and I've quite gotten used to it. $600 virtual reality headset that does not actually turn off unless you disconnect power? Check.
Along the way, while troubleshooting my Index calibration woes, which I've now firmly rooted to a case of WMR I did make a positive discovery.
I found that in the display settings within WMR there is a Quality Slider under Headset Display that at default is at High. Now let me preface this before going forward. I was not particularly wowed with the visual clarity in this thing up until now. It was only slightly better (honestly) than the Index and I tried a lot of things: Half Life: Alyx, Space Pirate Trainer, The Lab, Assetto Corsa Competizione, Star Wars: Squadrons etc. This Quality Setting is default at "High", but if you set it to "Very High (Beta)" WOW, like it was so much clearer, and I noticed it immediately and this wasn't mentioned anywhere else in any of the set-up guides so many of you may have missed this or will probably miss this:
https://youtu.be/YpKFTqOUY-s?t=251
Once I saw how clear everything in VRHome was, the first and only VR experience I've had since trying to get everything to work (not just Index controller calibration at this point, the G2 becomes uncalibrated within WMR for whatever reason, possibly the hard resets induce the issue and WMR becomes corrupted, not sure, but all of these problems pertain to Windows and if it weren't for PC gaming I WOULDN'T EVEN BE USING WINDOWS. IT'S GARBAGE. 100% PURE GARBAGE. I DIDN'T LIKE GAMES FOR WINDOWS LIVE, I DON'T LIKE THE MICROSOFT STORE (none of my games work correctly, I have this bug now where in Forza Horizon 4 if I connect to "Horizon Life" the sound cuts out completely. If I exit Horizon Life the sound returns, I submitted a ticket to Turn 10 and they've yet to reply. Injustice 2 would never connect to the internet / multiplayer, and I troubleshooted that for hours, something about NAT Type, my friend was on XBOX 360 and we couldn't play together, nor could I play with anyone else. Ori and the Blind Forest Definitive Edition, there is a 32:9 fix available, but you need to edit a .ini file, but because it's a Microsoft Store title there is no such file and you will never find it. I could go on and on, don't even get me started on Windows, it's pure garbage. I don't like Microsoft, I don't like WMR, I'm 9/10ths of the way to returning the G2).
Anyhow, it's so much clearer and only NOW do I see what everyone is talking about when they say that it's clearer.
What else? Battery life is non-existent? Both sets of batteries that came with the controllers are dead after one day of simply troubleshooting and not even really using them and decent rechargeable batteries are like $35 for a pack of 4 (Sanyo Eneloop 1.5v) on Amazon and I'm broke so once the batteries go in the right controller (2 green bars remaining) I will have to wait until I'm paid on the 1st before I can use VR again?
Why does this not come with rechargeable 1.5v batteries and a charger to begin with? Why does HP not encourage all of us to use rechargeable batteries in the first place?
I have so many misgivings with this headset. Did you see the issue in my previous post where turning up the audio volume causes the displays to black out in certain specific games and sound based situations?
This is 100% unacceptable. I was so excited to get this, and now, like I'm not kidding, this entire weekend has done what feels like irreparable harm to my psychology. It has put me in a seriously bad mood, all day yesterday, and I was screaming profanities non-stop. Like when trying to close WMR and it freezes your computer I would shout "WHAT THE FUCK IS THE PROBLEM. YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. WHAT THE FUCK IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. THIS IF FUCKING TRASH, STRAIGHT FUCKING TRASH!" and I would place the controllers down hard on the table and I can literally feel fatigue in my heart. Like I'm not making any of this up, this has been PURE FUCKING HELL and nearly 48 hours of it. After the WMR freezing my PC issue that happened after I discovered that WMR not tracking and (and not telling you that this is the problem, I mean they can add stupid fucking little notes at the top of WMR but they can't tell you there that your HMD needs to be recalibrated, nor in Windows? Huh?). After all of this I went into the kitchen to get some water and I told my significant other how stressed out I am and that I'm going to return this and I was going to explain what is happening now and she's like "YES JUST RETURN IT! JUST RETURN IT" and I felt that she cut me off and I shouted "DON'T FUCKING TALK OVER ME".
Like honestly, I don't fucking need this man. This is so fucking stupid and so fucking stressful and none of this is intuitive.
Please don't confuse me with someone who doesn't understand Windows nor computers. I'm not one of those people. I've been around Windows and building PC's for over a decade now:
My Youtube Channel:
https://youtu.be/irWFrYd3lDA
https://youtu.be/qn7ZFZY8x-E
My technical posts (Ampere analysis, predating RDNA 2 by a month, subsequently banned because I rubbed all of the cheerleaders there the wrong way, looking back my analysis was cogent and prescient, OC.net handle = Mooncheese):
https://www.overclock.net/threads/official-nvidia-rtx-3090-owners-club.1753930/page-60

I'm not a moron. This shit is incredibly complicated and WMR and Windows in general is buggy as hell and I'm just, I'm just fucking sick of it and will probably return this crap. I've had none of these problems with the Index. When I wear the Index, I could turn off my PC display and it wouldn't turn of the desktop within VR, where after exciting VR all of the programs within task-bar are inaccessible off screen to the top. I had no zero tracking problems where movement within physical space didn't produce movement within the virtual space (the WMR bug that is the thrust of this post and the primary source of my Index controller calibration issues). Closing SteamVR wouldn't lock up the PC necessitating a hard reset. The controllers don't require running out and spending $35 on rechargeable batteries and they track better.
Like most of this criticism isn't just at the G2 (although I have already said plenty about that) but WMR in general.
Audio above 85% causes displays to go out: (1) Reverb G2 - HMD goes black. RMA time? : HPReverb (reddit.com)
Speaker wobble causes audio to cut out: (1) First day using g2. : HPReverb (reddit.com)
The cable clip (it's pointless, worse, trying to reinforce it with electrical tape causes the cable to get caught and stuck to that and become a mini-nightmare to deal with)
The swimming eye relief that costs, by my eyes, 20 degrees of HFOV and VFOV with no slimmer head gasket.
The inability of the HMD to turn off without physically disconnecting power. Every time (think of it as exercise, bend over, unplug, bend over re-plug, bend over, unplug, bend over, replug, bend over unplug, bend over replug!)
The controllers are trash. Poor battery life and they break tracking when hands go to the blindsight down and to the side. They float off into space. They have no pressure sensitive buttons. If you use Natural Locomotion for movement as I do (video below) you cannot use NaLo with these controllers, you have to use SteamVR controllers for tracking (hence my insistence on getting the Index controllers to work, I could theoretically live without finger indexing, but I cannot live without NaLo for movement): https://youtu.be/CwthMHetDjA
I can go on and on but I'm tired of typing.
If youre a SteamVR enthusiast, 100% cancel your order.
Who is this headset for?
Those coming from a Reverb G1, those who cannot afford, don't have the space, don't want the hassle of setting up basestations.
Everyone else, wait for Valve to produce a higher resolution Index.
Edit:
I forgot to add another issue I'm having and that is that running and exiting WMR (possibly SteamVR is implicated here as well) causes my resolution bit-rate to drop down from 240 Hz @ 10 bit (via DSC of course) to 240 Hz @ 6 bit! It does it every time! (you can see this setting under Nvidia Control Panel > Resolution) So every time I use the headset I need to open NVCP and reset the color bit rate from 6 bit back up to 10 bit. It's not that big of a deal, but it adds to the time and annoyance of having to set up VR to get a session going in the first place / the need to recalibrate the Index controllers each and every time the PC is restarted.
I will add more issues as they come to mind, but bear in mind that this list above is not an all inclusive one, there are so many issues with this, it boggles the mind!
Not being able to turn off my PC display without the entire system borking, why is this even a problem?! I do not want my new Samsung Odessey G9 running (and burning out, freq = heat = entropy, it's just a matter of time, everything has a lifespan, see: lightbulbs)! Right now if I try to turn off my PC display it bugs the entire PC necessitating a hard reset! WTF is wrong with WMR and Windows?!
submitted by Ecstatic_Beginning to HPReverb [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 18:21 OutofH2G2references Deep Dive on the Moral Philosophies of Stormlight Archive: RoW Update

I wrote a post about the Moral Philosophies explored in SA after I read OB a few years ago. I figured I’d write an update now that we have more info on Willshapers and other orders.
I think this is both interesting and a useful tool for thinking about/making predictions about potential oaths, character development, and problems different orders will run in to.
Here is my old post where I lay out how:
The first ideal is the way Camus digs us out of solipsism/nihilism/denialism and makes adopting moral philosophies possible.
Windrunners are Deontologist
Skybreakers are Legal Positivists
Lightweavers are Aristotelians
Tarravangian is a Utilitarian
Dalinar is a Hobbesian Leviathan
Sadeas is a Nietzschean Ubermensch
Edgedancers are Jedeo Christians
Elsecallers might be Cartesians
The biggest update we get in RoW is info about Willshapers. In addition to what we knew from WoR, we get the second ideal and a sense of what a potential Willshaper needs to do in order to progress. Now that we know that:
Willshapers are Libertarians: Libertarians value freedom and distrust centralized power. They tend to value the need for free expression and embrace significant variation in lifestyles. Venli distrusts both the humans and the fused. She wants to strike out on her own and found a place where people can self-govern. Her ideals are clearly about freedom. We know from Arcanum and WoR that “willshapers all focus on individual freedom and liberty; the Willshapers champion self-expression and freedom of choice for all.” Pretty unambiguous to me.
Elsecallers: I’m still not totally sure if Elsecallers are Cartesians or Stoics. It’s hard to tell because Jasnah is the only one and we haven’t had her book yet. That said Cartesians being rationalists, the ideal of dualism (having a physical a spiritual self), and doubting everything to discover knowledge seems pretty in line with Jasnah’s world view. However the descriptions we get of the old Elsecallers focus on self-improvement. This makes them a good candidate for being Stoics as that branch of philosophy is also about improving your personal ethical system through logical observation of the world. Could also be Jasnah. We’ll have to wait to meet more of them.
Bondsmiths don’t seem to play by the rules. Dalinar is unquestionably the Leviathan but Navani seems to be a scientist/natural philosopher (though it’s possible she’s a rationalist). Maybe the Blackthorn is the Leviathan but Dalinar will grow into something else as he works on his powers and we will learn more about Bondsmith philosophy.
Beyond that, RoW reinforced by previous thoughts about the orders that get a lot of screen time (a lot more evidence for Windrunners as Deontologists, Lightweavers as Aristotelians, Edgedancers as Jedeo Christians etc) and does little to shed light on Truthwatchers, Stonewards, and Dustbringers. Particularly see the Windrunners continuing down a deontological path
It is interesting that Taravangian represents one of the most common/widely believed moral philosophies, is not really in an order, and has now ascended to a position setting him up to be the big baddy. We know a Dustbringer is already friends with T. I wonder if that is setting up an order like the Dustbringers to represent utilitarians? Or Brandon just really doesn’t like utilitarian philosophy...
As noted in my other post, I’m not actually a moral philosopher. Just a lay enthusiast. Would love to discuss furthebe corrected anywhere I missed.
submitted by OutofH2G2references to Stormlight_Archive [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 07:54 zboss_539 I'm never exploring abandoned places again

About a week from today, I surprised my parents with my driver's licsense after taking the road test. Only to be surprised back with a new car (toyota corolla). It was so stoked it bought me to tears.
I asked what are the rules. They told me if I keep up with school and start working sooner there are no rules and the vehicle is completely mine. (For the mean time I still payed a heafty amount for insurance. Anyways)
My first thought was to hit up the bois and to go where ever the hell. Ever since I've watched abandoned exploration videos on youtube, I've always wanted to do it myself. Never got the chance since I had no way to get there, but look at my now lmao
I snap my boi randy and denise my new car. They both setup a conference call and invite me. They both congratulate me and ask if he had any plans. I respond that I actually want to pick them up and take them to go find bandos (abandoned building)
With excitement they both heavily agree and I go on my way to pick both of them up. I'm now posted up at the parking lot of a McDonalds. We ordered food and with hope tried to think of any bandos somewhat in a decently far distance from our home area.
We would have googled it, but it doesn't work that way. Property isn't listen online or advertised that has been ditched for obvious reasons. We decided to call a friend we are familiar from highschool. (pothead. finds places to smoke to avoid authorities) Told us that there is an abandoned apartment complex.
"It's a few miles from the McDonalds. Where not revealing... Duh... After the highway. It's the shortest route there. But last I hear was haunted. Nothing happened when I went with my bois. Also it smells pretty bad. I suggest using masks. Up to you tho."
Me and my friends all looked at each other not saying a word. Very hesitant at first but then blurted out the fact that I personally don't believe in ghosts. So since we already had the advantage Randy said "Fuck it lets go. We aren't gonna do anything retarted anyways. We just wanna explore". Denise in response "I agree. Let's just go".
I pin pointed the address of the place and greeted with path leading to a road between a big body of forrest around it and a small path to a dead end. The weird part was that when I search it up, I tried to look for the images of the property, but none to be shows.
I make the turn away from the other vehicles from the incoming road. Now we are heading towards the path between the forrest. The only illumination now is coming from my headlights. It was dark. Pitch black road ahead with forrest on the both sides of the path. Quiet like space.
My headlights beam ahead and I notice another path turning left. But the road keeps on going ahead. I proceed. The path keeps going until my headlights illuminate a big facility ahead what seemed to look like. The glass frames all over the walls, giant metal smoke chimneys on the roofs, and old metal rusty garage doors on the entrance.
I idle the vehicle as we all talk about every single serial about the structure. Eventually we hop out (I made sure the vehicle was at a relevant distance in case we had to book it) and approach the building. It's not that big it was about one third the size of a regular block from an urban area.
Denise "Look. There's an exit door next to that garage. Let's see if its opened". Approaching the door, we notice that the door knob is missing. Not minding anything about it since it's abandoned after all. Denise pulls it open and upon entering we are all greeted with a very pungent and toxic smell.
Dip a shirt in bleach, vinegar, and mustard. Then leave it in your closet for a day. Is exactly what it smelt like. We continue to explore and we notice that there are these giant furnaces with anvils lined up beside then in rows all over the wall.
I mentioned "I'm assuming this use to be a blacksmith hut? Or maybe soldier molting?" Randy "We would have smelled rust instead of what smells like a serial killer dropped a body here and it has been undiscovered. Blehh".
All of us proceed to the the end only to find another entrance, but had no door. We only had our phone flash so it was still pretty hard to see. Entering as all of us are quiet. I only hear the breath coming and out of mine and friends lungs.
The smell gets stronger by the way. If you look closely at our phone lights from the side, you can see dust and microscopic spores around the atmosphere.
The room had noting but a vent in the ceiling across from each end of the room. It was a pretty big vent. It looked as if it was possible to crawl thru it. Possibly leading else where inside the facility.
Now. From the ceiling to the floor of the room, was about 7 to 8 feet in height. I'm 5'8. Randy is 6'0. And Denise is 5'5. I thought of an idea. Me "Hey Randy. Why don't you give Denise a boost to open the latch off and we can help each other out once one person makes it inside the vent?". Randy "Okay thats smart. Non of us are fat so it's doable."
Denise now over randy's shoulder. Denise inspects the latch and realizes he has to stick his fingers in between the openings and pull it downward. Denise "Hold me tight in case since I'm going to force this down". Randy "Go for it".
Denise Yanks it down and down falls the latch and a big duffle bag (you know the ones football players use for their equipment for practice) on both denise and randy. Both on the floor whilst the duffle bag is just there. It smells so horrible I rather die. It's very moist too. As if it's been dropped Inna puddle of water or something.
"What the fuck is in this bag? Rocks?" Yelled Denise in aggravation. "Dude it's wet and it smells" said Randy. They both look at me and told me to zip it open. "hell no! I offered you guys on a fun ride here and to get some food. Maybe return the favor by one of you opening it instead pieces of shits?!"
Randy "I'm doing it since you both are a pair of tiny baby chicks". Denise "Nah now I'll open it bitch". These two fucks are now fighting over the bag yanking it on each end. I had to be the adult and sepereate them both and just open it to not waste good time.
We all discover the remains of human limbs. Arms and legs with both hands and feet still attached. No torso or head. Randy turns over against the nearest wall of the room and pukes. Denise does the same. I'm pretrified. Never been so brutally terrified. Let alone. The humans remains of their limbs.
I couldn't tell if it was male/female, child/elderly or not. My first instinct was to get us the fuck out of there and home. We all peaced out from the room in a frantic hurry. Upon reaching the exit, we notice that it's been blocked off by a giant metal bar across from these hinges on each side of the door.
We aren't completely locked since all we needed to do was lift up the metal bar. Only thing was, it was extremely heavy. Not even Randy or I could have done it (since we were both the strongest out of the two). "This wasn't here before. Guys I think we walked into a trap". Randy "well we can't freak out?! We gotta get out of here NOW".
Now all of us are scared. Randy calls his girlfriend to notify of is whereabouts in case we couldn't find an exit. Denise "Guys this is going to sound like it's sucks but we might have to go thru the vent to find another way out".
Without hesitation we all proceed back to the room since we were all in a frantic to leave. That is until we hear loud band coming from the vent as if someone is crawling thru it. We see something furry peak out. An ear of some sort. Looks like a set of giant bunny ears.
We halt as we notice this and the guy/girl wearing an Easter Bunny costume crawling out of the vent. It's white fur accommodated by the fresh blood stains and disturbing smile.
what looked like an innocent child friendly costume instantly turned into some sort of horror movie killer like the not so nice Easter Bunny after all
We are all now freaked the out and pale like ghosts in fear. Our first instinct was to run back to the exit and attempt to lift the bar again. This time Denise helps. Him as an extra person managed to pry over the bar and bust the door open. I'm the last to leave.
As people say, it's never good too look back when running away from danger. But me being a stupid naive curious 19 year old that I was did. The bunny falls down from the vent with a long machete. Gets up. Starts rushing over here with the machete on its left hand.
The reason I would say that this saved my life is because it gave me and extra boost of adrenaline and made me dip to my car quicker. My car has a key feature where if I press the unlock button twice as I'm withing 5 feet of the car it turns on and unlocked all doors.
I'm already in the drivers seat watching my friends haul ass over here. The bunny wasn't too far behind. The minute they get inside I stomp on the pedal. Didn't even wait for them to close the door. I peep the thru the rearview mirror as the bunny stops in it's tracks and turns back towards the direction for the building.
"What just happened" Denise stated. Me and Randy couldn't respond left speechless after experiencing such a traumatic event. "We have to tell the cops". I said. "If my parents find out about this shit I'm never seeing the outside world again" said Denise. "Remember. You guys fought over the bag and I opened it
We are better off opening up about this. It's for all of our safety. We saw it and didn't see it's face. We don't know who is it but it knows our faces. It's a deranged serial killer wearing a fucking damn easter bunny costume. You don't here about this shit typically. We have no choice". Denise gave out a long sigh in sadness but ultimately respected the wise decision and agreed since we DID interfere with the discovery.
I take us to the nearest police station in the jurisdiction of the area. The cop advised me to go home. "Don't worry about your friends. Well take them home. For your safety I'll have an officer follow your vehicle home for now we will send a few units to go investigate. We can't keep you updated on this situation regardless of the encounter." Said the officer.
"I don't care. I just want to go home and try to sleep" I said. I'm home now and the officer notified the incident to my parents. So on one hand I have both my parents take my car keys away for god knows how long for coming up with the bright idea of exploring abandoned buildings.
On the other, I thought I was going to die but managed to survive with no injuries. Me and my friends didn't tell anyone else of this story. We didn't want to remind ourselves of it. Did what I've always wanted to do and the tables turned quickly on all of my expectations. 100% didn't expect a psycho murderer wearing a bunny costume to attempt to murder a few young adults.
submitted by zboss_539 to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 06:09 Nekosogi-Matter-Bop [Windows] Automatic Repair happens on restart, but not on a basic boot-up.

Specs:
The problem:
Whenever I perform a dedicated restart - that is, clicking the "Restart" power option - I end up on an Automatic Repair menu at startup. This doesn't happen when I simply select the "Shut down" power option and then boot up.
When this happens, I have to select the "Exit and continue to Windows 10" option, as any other option simply doesn't work. However, when I select this option, I end up going back to the Auomatic Repair menu for a second time. When I then select "Exit and continue to Windows 10" for the second time, I finally successfully boot into Windows.
The Automatic Repair process always happens twice in a row. Since it never happens a third time, I can at least say this doesn't seem to be the infamous Automatic Repair Loop. And since I can simply work around this by only ever shutting down/powering up as opposed to restarting, this is more of an annoyance than a huge issue.
However, I am concerned that this indicates some kind of underlying problem, such as a failing drive. And, if it's all the same, I would prefer to be able to just fix this if possible, even if it is benign.
When did this start?
Two days ago I performed a full system reset, including data erasure. This was just for maintenance purposes. After updating Windows, I ran /TronScript for its de-bloat and telemetry-disabling functionality (yes, I realize there are more efficient programs for that, but I was lazy). I've done this many, many times before without issue. On my first restart after all of this, the problem presented itself.
Things I've already tried:
Things I haven't tried:
Edit:
Solution:
I'm sure this is a mundanely obvious answer, but the only thing that fixed this issue was doing a reinstall via USB. However, AllPurposeGeek provided a beautifully in-depth guide on how to potentially solve this issue without having to reset your system from scratch for anyone interested. I don't consider myself savvy enough to follow this guide myself, but it could be useful to others.
submitted by Nekosogi-Matter-Bop to techsupport [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 05:47 durrhurrd You don't want to climb.

After my last post, I got numerous claims from people that they simply could not improve (they hit a plateau), or that they had hit their talent ceiling, or that not everyone can get to diamond so what's the point? This person compared getting into diamond with getting into the NBA - funniest comment by far. Some said that they had subsequently given up learning or improving at the game. That was not the intent of the post.

Talent

Before I go on, I want to be clear: natural talent exists. Life isn't fair and some people are born with innate gifts that will dwarf yours somehow. They will get further than you with less work, and if they put in the same work or more as you, they will get much further....and that's just how it is.
HOWEVER, only a handful of people are supremely talented AND hardworking. After all, how many Fakers are there? Also, most people are reasonable enough to not assume that they can be the next Faker, and aren't looking to; they're just trying to get into Gold, Plat, or Diamond.

"Working Hard" vs "Working Smart"

I also got numerous replies saying it's no good to simply play a lot of games and "grind it out", that you need to goal set, deliberately practice, review, study, analyze. I completely agree. Ideally, if you are looking to improve, you should be doing these things. Playing a lot of games can help some people improve, but not everyone learns in the same way. When you're stuck in a plateau and don't see yourself improving, there are so many things you could be doing other than/as well as playing games that can help. I won't go into that here since there are numerous resources out there if you bother searching for them.
But at the end of the day, you also need to put in a decent amount of ranked games if you want your improved skills reflected in your ranked status. And you have to be consistent about it, you can't just weekend warrior 20 games in a row every once in a while. That might work, but it also might cause you to lose your sanity (been there).

Sample Size

Which brings me to my next point, sample size. Some people complain that they are the magic exception, that no matter what they do, they always get the bad players, the intentional feeders, the leavers, the disconnects. For some reason, they just want you to take their word for it and listen to their rant and accept that yes, they are the exception. They never seem to link their account name to look up, and when they do, without exception, they've usually played a pretty insignificant amount of ranked games.
If you have a small sample size (small number of games), variance can skew the results drastically. Flipping a coin is a 50/50 chance, but if you didn't that and flipped a coin only once and never again, you might think heads comes up 100% of the time. Likewise, if you flip a coin 5 times in a row, the chances of getting heads 5 times in a row is 1/32 (1/2 ^ 5). Think about that, there's a 3.125% chance that you could flip a coin 5 times in a row and it lands on 1 side every flip, and that's for a perfectly even chance beforehand. If your rank is a reflection of your skill, most people simply do not play enough ranked games to even see a proper reflection.
For those of you who have played a significant amount of games and still found it difficult to improve, there are generally going to be other issues at play (mostly mental), and that's another matter entirely.

I have no talent, can I climb?

For those of you who have given up improving, this is for you. I can't vouch for the sincerity of the other people's stories, but I believe that I can give you a rough idea of what it takes to climb to the highest levels with my own.
Short Background:
Before League, I never played DOTA or HON. I was too busy playing Starcraft Broodwar for many years. I messed around a lot and didn't play too much ladder, but I did eventually play a season of PGTour and got C+ for those of you who remember that. Eventually I got around to playing SC2 in the beta and a friend and I played decently on the 2v2 ladder (top 5 global). Getting bored of SC2, I started playing SOTIS (a custom map on SC2 that was a DOTA clone) but it was heavily imbalanced so I quit and started playing League.
I started partway through Season 1, and at this point I was already in my 20s (definitely not a prodigy). Though I never played any MOBAs before, I did play a lot of SC and I thought I would just use the same method I improved with on there:
Step 1) Watch some pro games.
Step 2) Play a lot of games, try to copy them.
Step 3) ????
Step 4) Profit
Unfortunately there were no replays (we still don't have replays as they exist on SC1/2) at the time to learn from, so it ended up being mostly just watching random streamers once in a while and playing lots of games. When I started playing ranked, I immediately placed at 1450 (gold) Elo. I ended the season at 1999 Elo. Season 2 is when I went HAM and grinded out a lot of games. I believe I was roughly 1500 games (maybe more) into the season when I plateaued around 2.2k Elo. Eventually I started jungling more and peaked at around 2750 which at the time was rank 7, then went on some spectacular tilt near the end of the season and ended around 2500.
I don't remember the exact amount of games I played, but it was easily over 1600 that season according to that screenshot in the post linked above. Over 1600 games in 1 season, that's (on average) over 4 games a day for a year. Of course, that was to get to a decently high rank. YMMV, if you're aiming to just get to Gold, it probably won't take that many games.

Skill transfer vs Talent

Now you might be thinking, "you are talented and played a lot, that's the only reason you were able to climb." I don't think I'm particularly talented at all, but I will acknowledge there are certain skills that transferred from playing other games (namely Starcraft). So let's take a realistic look at my situation, with the benefit of hindsight:
1) I was already in my 20s (not some young prodigy), which at the time was nothing special, and in these days with younger and younger pros (Faker was scouted at what, 16?), I was a dinosaur.
2) Mechanics: I was never a fast player in SCBW, more so played a macro game. I would average maybe 150 average, 200 peak APM. In League my mechanics have also been fairly average, definitely not my strong suit. Mechanics are probably the least important skill to climbing the ladder, though it gets far more important at pro levels of play.
3) Game knowledge: This is one area where I am probably better than average. I tend to immerse myself into something, and League when I started was no exception. I just did the same thing I did when I learned Starcraft. Try to understand the champs, items, and watch pros and other high level play to get a sense of the metagame. I spent a lot of time when I was starting the game (under level 30) just understanding the champs, items and metagame, so when I could start playing ranked, I never really had any issues climbing right away. This is something that people don't seem to do anymore (now especially due to role selection). These days even I barely keep up with what's going on with updates and new champs, and I would say my game knowledge could definitely use some improvement.
4) Mental fortitude: This is probably the area where I have the most "talent". I guess I've always been a fairly stubborn person, and when playing games it's no exception. When I was trying my best to win and improve, I wouldn't get dissuaded at all from doing whatever is necessary to win. I would play a lot, study builds, test builds, theorycraft, study up on other players, strategically pick and ban, play any style, play any champ, tryhard every game. I've went on 20+ game loss streaks (in 1 session) and kept playing. Hell, I've played pretty much every ranked season, grinding enough games to get to diamond (took over 300 games last season). I might tilt hard every once and a while, but I've always understood that at the end of the day, it's because I'm not good enough. When I do succumb to these tendencies, I tend to fall into the "tilted out of my mind but still want to win this goddamn game" category of player, which at the end of the day has led to significantly more wins than if I'd simply AFK'd or straight up inted.

Consistency/Mental Fortitude

Luckily (or unluckily for some), climbing any competitive ladder (especially in a team game) is going to be mostly consistency and mental fortitude. When I say consistency, I mean:
- Can you play at the highest levels of your ability game after game? This isn't just about tilt, but whether you actually have the capability to play to the best of your ability. IE: not playing when extremely tired or under the influence, playing with little to no distractions, playing with functioning computeinternet (not playing on a Pentium I with 56k).
- Can you push yourself to do due diligence (read: boring stuff) outside of the game? Ex: Practice skill shots, practice last hitting, practicing 1v1s, reading up on the meta, studying various builds, watching replays, spectating games.
- Can you maintain a consistent mental state from game to game? Note: this doesn't only mean tough it out, stop tilting, etc, but whether you have the will power to step away and take a break when necessary (for those who become too emotionally invested).
- What else are you willing to do to give yourself the most possible advantages? Are you physically healthy? Are you mentally in a good place? Are you down to optimize the various facets of your life? These are all factors that will play a part in your performance, whether it's in League or elsewhere.
- Can you put in the requisite time daily? All of this takes time, and to maximize consistency it can't be too spread out. Unless you're inundated with talent and natural ability, don't expect to just play a couple games every once in a while and shoot up the rankings.
If you answered yes to the above questions, then you can eventually climb the ladder. Of course, you can expedite this process (as well as push it to your natural limits) if you put some extra effort in (working smarter), but regardless, if you can put in the work and be consistent, you will end up climbing.
The good news is mental fortitude is the easiest skill to learn and train. We all practice it every day in our daily lives. You can learn about improving it from numerous sources, and there's no barrier to entry - it just requires some self reflection and contemplation (not always easy). Everyone is different so I won't go too much into the various strategies, but needless to say a lot of it is psychological or philosophical (I'm a fan of the stoic line of thinking myself).

Wrapping up

For those of you who have made it this far, I hope this helps in some way to understand the lengths that I went through to climb the ladder and what you will have to go through to do the same (though probably not to the same extent).
Now, you might argue that everyone sucked back in the day, that a S10 Gold player is equivalent to a 3000 Elo player in S2, but in gaming years I'm a relic and I still manage to crawl my way into the lowly ranks of Diamond every year.
Additionally, most people don't have such lofty goals, maybe you're stuck in Silver and you're just looking to make it into Gold in season 11 for the reward. I replied to someone in my last post that I believe most people could easily make it deep into Plat at least, maybe even Diamond. I actually believe this to be the case: the biggest improvement that most people can make is a change in mindset.
Climbing a competitive ladder is a Sisyphean task - every day you're going to be pushing that boulder up the hill. Every day if you even let up a little bit that boulder is going to roll down even further than you pushed it. Changing your mentality will have the single biggest improvement on your game, as it enables you to do everything else. Without a strong mentality, people are liable to give up rather than to push through challenges/plateaus. Also, because it's so specific and individual, no one can really give you tips on how to accomplish it, which is why most advice tends to fall into the "play this champ, do this build" or "just dont tilt!" category. This also makes it difficult in a sense to improve (as the root issue has nothing to do with gaming, let alone League of Legends).
I don't want to give "4 simple ways not to tilt", I searched through google/reddit and saw that topic comes up repeatedly, so I thought I would share my story and reflect on it and hope that it opens some eyes and maybe convince some people to give learning and improving another shot. It is completely doable to climb the ladder and definitely not the same as making it into the NBA. I mean come on, it's been 10 years, and people still believe in Elo hell / "Loser's Queue" / whatever meme name for blaming external factors on not being able to climb.
You have to take responsibility for your own journey. At the end of the day you're going to be the determining factor in whether you can improve and climb, not some guide that will soon be obsolete, not some streamer or video, not a coach, and definitely not some reddit self-help bs post (hah).
Good luck in season 11 everyone!
Obligatory shout out to this site where I sometimes write about stuff (it's been a bit on and off since I've been busy with other stuff). I'm also doing a 1* game a day challenge for season 11, and I'll be writing up every game on there for those who are interested.
submitted by durrhurrd to summonerschool [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 01:22 Aumnayan Memoirs of First Contact 4 [OC]

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I didn’t tarry, and reached the cargo bay shortly afterwards. The ship took up the majority of the cargo bay. The ‘wings’ that had been cut off where laying upright leaning against the wall. They stood at least twenty feet up. Despite the tug I felt about examining the ship, I looked past it to see Greg, Cecilia, and Haley where standing on a loading platform that had been lifted so they cold look into a gash in the hull of the ship. It looked like the warhead had penetrated the armor before detonating causing the hull to peel back. Jeff and Branson where standing at the bottom of the lift.
I bypassed them and climbed up. Cecilia moved aside touching the side of the ship before climbing down.
What did I notice first? That the hull appeared to make out of some type of titanium, though different in a way I couldn’t identify? That it wasn’t even a foot thick which, in my mind at least, meant it wasn’t a military vessel. That there was apparently a walkway leading to the forward section of the ship, or that the gash ripped through this hallway and exposed a large room where a engine of some type stood?
Nope!
It was the two being in environmental suits below us that had my undivided attention. They where in what was obviously environment suits, though both face masks where opened. I could see a furry face that had an elongated snout, though it was far enough away that I couldn’t make out much details other then that. Well, and that they appeared to have four arms, and two legs.
One was pinned under a heavy piece of debris, while the other appeared to have been impaled on a long metallic pole. Brian was using a mobile recycler to cut through the bar close enough to the impaled being that he could remove it without jarring her internal bits. I noticed the other one looking up at us, probably wondering what in the world we where doing there, before I backed away. Oh, they didn’t look disgusting or dangerous, though I’m sure they could be that if they chose. It was because my place was the bridge, and I would only get in the way by staying. My decision was proved the right one when moments after I left the platform Brian called up to Greg to get a hoist so he could extract the more wounded one.
I headed back to the bridge, and frankly hyperventilated in my room for a few minutes as I considered the consequences of my actions. I had just abducted a couple of aliens and where bringing them to my leaders. I almost fell over laughing at the irony.
I decided to hold off on the call for a couple of days, we did have over a monthlong trip ahead of us. During this time, I tried to stay out of Brian’s hair outside of asking for updates when things changed. Apparently the one not impaled had passed out prior to extraction from the ship. His right leg being broken in a handful of locations. Brian did a full body scan prior to attempting to remove the foreign object from the other one. Using that as a baseline he attempted to plug the holes that shouldn’t be there in the other one.
After several hours Brian looked like hell, and all he could say about it was he might have saved its life. The next day the non-impaled one woke up. None of us have a baseline to judge these beings’ reactions, but when the one with a broken leg woke up, saw the cast on it and the other one with various machines hooked up to it measuring who-knew what, Brian said it looked surprised. Be and Branson paraded a host of items in front of the one who was conscious until they identified what they ate and confirmed that they drank water. We scanned the food into the system so our matter printers could produce it.
The rest of the crew on that ship had been killed by weapon fire. It looked like some type of energy weapon judging by the burns, though exactly what he couldn’t tell me. They had been boxed up in individual freezer units and deposited in one of the empty rooms. All twelve of them.
Event with all the extra work, our matter tanks where doing ok. If needed, we kept two years’ worth of emergency U-Rations in what had been the ships pantry prior to the remodel. If it dropped to the point where it became a worry, I could ban all uses of the matter printers save for water and anything needed for emergency repairs of the ship. No one would be happy if it came to that though, including myself.
Where Brian got a pass with me bugging him. The rest I bugged relentlessly. Jeff yelled at me at one point. “I don’t know if it’s going to fucking explode ok? I don’t know what any of this stuff does, and can only guess what things do based on where in the ship it’s located. And since that’s based off OUR designed and not THEM all of that could be wrong! I’m pretty sure I know where the engine is, but I don’t know what it produces, how it produces it, or even how it gets to from that pretty box to where it needs to be!”
Which was pretty much the summation of what Haley could tell me. She knew there where computers on the ship, but only because there had to be. Examining the scans, since I told everyone that if it doesn’t move, they aren’t to take it apart, she couldn’t find a single capacitor or circuit. Whatever they used was completely foreign to us.
I had them scan the ship, before sorting and storing everything that was loose. Everything was scanned, recorded, and stored no exceptions. Brian allowed the alien with a broken leg to watch. Cecilia said it appeared to be looking for something, but hadn’t found it yet. She asked what she should do if he found it, I told her that unless she could identify it as a weapon let him have it.
While they where all busy with that work, I took Brian’s mobile recycler and cut a two by two section off one of the wings so I could analyze it in my room. Part of it was set up to conduct my experiments on adapting Durasteel to a more crystalline structure to refract and absorb the heat generated from energy weapons. But before I sat down to dive into the chunk of metal’s atomic structure, I had to admit to myself that I had waited enough, and called Mr. Grant, sitting the 233.68-millimeter-thick chunk of metal on my desk.
His image materialized in front of me after the fourth ring, looking surprised. “Correct me if I’m wrong Ms. Vanderlyn, but didn’t your project end successfully for all involved almost three years ago? To what do I owe the pleasure.”
I leaned against the wall, hesitating to get to the point. “Scorpio’s found something that the military’s going to be interested in. You are the only one from Confed Military that I knew, so you got the call.” He smirked at my statement and settled in a little. Probably expecting humor to ensue.
“And what pray tell do you think the military is going to be interested in?” He asked still smirking. I transferred the recorded battle where the alien ship was damaged, the map of the system not including it’s location, an hours’ worth of the EM transmissions recording, the detailed scan of the ship taken after it was secured in the cargo hold, and both aliens’ medical file which included full body images to the less secure nav-com ship network before sending them to the Lieutenant with a wave of my hand. “What am I looking at here?” He asked, the smirk having left his face.
“Over six weeks ago the Scorpio entered an uncharted system where we found what we took to be evidence of an alien civilization. Namely high EM transmissions from four locations, along with weaker ones coming from several other locations. A routine infinity grav mass in two locations in the system suggests transit points for incoming and outgoing ships in the system.” I started. Even skipping as much as I could. Lieutenant Grace was getting increasingly tense as he examined what I sent him. “During our observation we witnessed a fight break out between two ships. The smaller one was disabled and boarded before its adversary left. At this time, we exercised license number S7765-23D.”
“A salvaging license?” He asked after querying it.
“Yes.” I responded. “We’re now en route back to Barista. Current estimate has this jump taking forty-one days sixteen hours.”
He finally stopped wading through the files I sent him and looked me over. “This is above me. But I have a question.” He waited for me to nod before asking. “Is this for real?”
I smiled. “Yes. However terrible and wonderful it is. This is for real. I really have two aliens, one in apparent critical condition that my medic is doing anything he can think of to save, and one with a broken leg on my ship. I have an alien ship in my cargo hold that utilizes technologies that we often can’t even guess at. And provided you are willing to pay for our salvage it, and all the problems that go with it are yours.” He grunted unsurprised that money came up. I watched him fight his instinct to simply say no, probably deciding it was someone else’s problem. “And you will need to talk to my engineer to buy the tech that enabled us to reach here.”
“Tech? What are you talking about?”
“That will be crystal clear once we’ve completed this song and dance and the systems location is revealed.” I started eying the piece of metal on my desk wanting to start my analysis. “I assume you need to contact someone else and run this up the flag pole?” I asked bringing my attention back to the conversation.
“Yes. I’ll contact you when I know something.” I smirked at that.
“Then you’ll be in a better position then me. Give me a heads up, and we’ll have the conversation in medical where you can see the being yourself.” He nodded before his image dissolved. I picked up the metal and got to it. It had been to long since I had any fun.


Do you know what I discovered after a day and a half of analysis? They had accomplished what I was attempted to do with Durasteel, only with Titanium. Simulations show that the crystalized alloy was between seventy-five and eighty percent more resilient to energy weapons then standard Titanium, while retaining it’s other properties. What’s more is that the piece I had acquired from their ship was machined! It wasn’t printed, but had gone through a manufacturing process!
The indicator signs where obvious.
I spent the remainder of the day getting thoroughly drunk. And the majority of the next day recovering. Brian contacted me only briefly to let them know that they had given the alien with the broken leg, who he had been dubbed Steve due to reasons that would only have been obvious had I been there, access to the inventory and successfully showed him how to navigate the system since he was obviously looking for something and hadn’t found it. Otherwise, Steve had stayed next to the other alien, and not ventured outside of medical without being prompted to.
It was then that I had my epiphany. Ok, not an epiphany. But an idea. Spurred by an idle comment of Haley in a message as she wondered about our guest’s evolutionary steps. This spurned a classic image of evolution from ape to man, when got me thinking about the evolution of metallurgy.
First came Titanium. Then Tritanium followed but Ditanium, and the Durasteel. Atomic printing was perfected at this time, and manufacturing had largely become a thing of the past. Oh, assembly was still needed in many things. But the construction of the base components where all printed.
But what if it wasn’t?
With a known valid sample, she could probably discover how this form of Tritanium was created. Then carry over that change of process to the next step in the metallurgical evolution making appropriate changes base on… I quickly started taking notes. An urgent message call started to come through, but since it was the Lieutenant I ignored it while I finished. It would take god knows how long, but it might be doable.
Lieutenant Grace appeared in my room in full dress uniform. “Mr. Grant?” I asked causing him to flinch slightly at my use of the nickname I had given to him during our time working together during my doctorate thesis.
“Ms. Vanderlyn, at 18:01 my superiors will be calling to discus our previous topic. I suggest you have the alien present.” He nodded before cutting the connection.
“Well okay then.” I muttered to myself. My implants chronological display showed it to be 17:21. Just enough time to get dressed, after sending a request to the rest of the crew to be present on the bridge at 17:55, and asking Brian to bring Steve. That done, I got cleaned up for what was going to be an interesting meeting.
The officer who had not been introduced by name stared at Steve who has slowly moving away from the hologram. He had initially jumped when the image appeared, but after passing his hand through Mr. Deadpan, which we quickly agreed to call him while muting the call, he relaxed. Brian stepped slightly in front of Steve leaving him visible but giving him the comfort he could.
“So, the decision is made then.” Mr. Deadpan stated in a monotone voice.
“I’m sorry, what’s decided?” I asked as it was the first thing Mr. Deadpan had said.
“By article 12-67C of the Confederacy Charted, the Scorpio and her crew are hereby enscripted into the Confederacy Navy. You will rondeveus with local forces in Barista before being processed.” There was dead silence on the bridge as we processed this. Three heartbeats latted everyone exploded.
“The hell we will!” I yelled over the others. “BridgeCom!” I barked activating the bridges digital virtual assistant since it would be quicker then establishing a direct link with the bridges systems at the moment. “Dead stop!” As everyone continued to yell. The ship immediately exited the slip stream and executed a gravity burst to bleed off the velocity.
“I don’t think so.” Mr. Deadpan said before alarms at Haley’s terminal began screeching.
“Holly shit!” She screamed running over and sitting down. “They’re already in! Shit, I didn’t know they could do that!” She screamed as text began displaying on her screen resulting in her frantically hitting keys.
“Kill the ship to nav connection!” I yelled at her. Mr. Deadpan watched the commotion with a smile.
“I’m trying I can’t get any of my commands through the damned…” As she was talking, I walked over to the side of her terminal and hastily opened the box there. The box contained two rows of slots with a handful of black boxes in them neatly labeled. On the left Fedcom, Ship-A, and Probe-1. On the right a single box labeled Ship-B. I yanked the box that read Ship-B and put it on Haley’s terminal.
“Oh.” She said.
Turning around Mr. Deadpan wasn’t smiling anymore. “They realized it was a honeypot.” Haley whispered to me.
“This conversation is over.” I told him. “We’ll get in contact with Lieutenant Grace when we’re ready. I’m sure you won’t have to wait long.” I waved my hand terminating the call as he opened his mouth to complain. Everyone was subdued, beaten might have been a better word for it.
“I don’t want to be in the Navy.” Cecilia said, Greg nodding his agreement.
“I decided to join so I could be free to do what I want without being under anyone. This is a hundred times worst.” Jeff pitched in.
“There might be a way.’ I almost whispered, but everyone stopped fidgeting and looked at me. “If, and I mean if, it works it’s going to be spendy.” I checked the ship account. There was enough. There had to be enough. “It would need to come out of the ships fund, which isn’t mine alone to spend. So do we try? Or should I set course to Barista?” I asked.
I explained briefly and was told by all of them to do it. I motioned to Steve, who was cowered by the door after it refused to open for him, and asked Brian to take him back to medical and see if he could calm him down. Then I made a call.
A young woman in a crisp business suit and hair tied tightly in a bun took form. She looked up from whatever she had been staring at and pushed a pair of overly large glasses up her noise. “Hello Ms. Vanderlyn, I am Rebecca Flinnley of Becket Becket and Hutch. You have one point six two hours remaining on your retainer. Our time begins now. How my we be of assistance?”
Jessica Vanderlyn
1.13 202 Post Sixth Expansion
submitted by Aumnayan to HFY [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 01:15 Ezzy_Black Extreme Hyperdriving: Building a Long Distance Champion

Extreme Hyperdriving: Building a Long Distance Champion
I'm a bit obsessive about ships. I hunt ships. I buy ships. I sell ships. I trade ships. I scrap ships. I think you see where this is going. I also like to build out ships.
Early in my playing time I got a bit into explorers. I loved that long hyperdrive range. I flew one across the Budallangr galaxy over the course of a week, without ever entering a black hole. I wanted more and more range.
At first I inched up on 3000ly, then barely surpassed it. That's when I realized that the ship itself had a base hyperdrive range and I wasn't exactly flying a great one. So I hunted. I found a 177ly ship, then a 179ly. That got me to the ship I used for this experiment.

Meet Void Dancer
Void Dancer was found on a ship hunting trip in Hilbert. I liked the ship so much I hung around and waited on the S-Class to come in. I shouldn't have bothered. I remember being a bit low on nanites at the time and really didn't want to spend 50,000 nanites to upgrade the A-Class I had already bought. But the S class range was abysmal, in the low 160s. The upgrade was successful to say the least. This ship has the longest core hyperdrive range I've seen. Mind you that is just personal experience, I didn't do extensive research across the web. I just knew that above 175 was considered really quite good, and I'd seen one ship with a 180.1 once. I have no doubt longer range ships exist and probably many of them, but I really liked this ship so I kept her. The point here is, if you didn't already know, that quite often a ship you want will have better stats on an upgraded A-Class than the S-Class you waited hours on. There are technical reasons for this, and we can discuss them if you want, just know it happens often, but not always.
So I had a ship and I had run into a trader selling some rather shady looking X-Class Hyperdrive modules. I had never used one before, so this was a good time.
The build was done using module re-rolling. I would love to credit the original poster of this idea here. I cannot locate the post that I believe to be the original I read, any help on this would be greatly appreciated. Suffice to say, if you are not a fan of the gaming concept of save-scumming this is not for you. In it's simplest form module re-rolling is just laying out the modules you have in a row. When you see one you'd like to keep, you reload a save before you laid out the modules and substitute C-Class modules up to the one you want. Then you install your S or X class module and you haven't wasted a lot of expensive modules to get what you want.
This was not module re-rolling in it's simplest form. At points up to 60 modules had to be laid out. I was trying to replace a 247ly S class hyperdrive module at one point. Not only that, but the original post I read seemed to believe that X-Class modules would always work. Not so with Hyperdrive modules. I don't know if it was always like this or something changed in the last update, but a 248ly S class module gives you an absolutely junk X-Class module. This is because the "good" X-Class Hyperdrive modules come without efficiency upgrades. So the game thinks instead of a huge distance number for a 248 (or 244, 242, 240, but not 246) module you'd really like 100% efficiency and 173ly. Uuugh! Yeah, I had an ironclad odd/even theory going for a while there. It was crushed. My spirits were frazzled when, on the very last module, I hit that 248 gotcha.
Point of interest: the 300ly X-Class module doesn't exits. A 250ly S-Class roll gives you a 298ly X-Class. Yes I have one installed.
When I started I was at 3185ly with all S-Class modules. I thought 3400 was possible, 3500 was kind of a secret goal to reach. It was a bit better than that.

She can really go!
Around 15,000 nanites were spent just on C-Class modules. Towards the end you are needing not just really good numbers to make it work, but specific very good numbers to avoid the "bad" X-class numbers. And honestly it can get better. There is still one 255ly X-Class module installed, but I ran out of them. Maybe another day I'll break 3700 or even 3750.
I have no idea if this is actually the NMS long-distance champion. Surely someone else has tried it and succeeded better than I have. I'd love to hear about it and any longer distance core ships you've run into (coordinates please!) If it hasn't already, it will be bettered I'm sure.
For now, I'm taking Void Dancer out to hunt ships. Far out.

https://preview.redd.it/naeya95uco161.jpg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=58512a2849cd7e60b18ab65f25f8aa0d65ca49db
submitted by Ezzy_Black to NoMansSkyTheGame [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 22:55 Nonagon21 Felynia Times Presents the Honeydome GP: Return of the Champion

Violet Eye, Sports Correspondent
I'm sure everybody knows by now to never doubt the Savage Speeders, but their captain apparently wanted to send another reminder anyway. Speedy was full recovered and ready to claim his second Grand Prix win from pole position, and claim it he did. He led most laps and flexed every skill he had, from blocking to dodging, on Bumble and anyone else trying to challenge him. Because it's still early and the field was already stratified on points, the Speeders rocketed to 5th place in the standings after this win, and if Rapidly can shake his Orlango fiasco off and also get back into shape, the Speeders will just keep on climbing.
However, the top of the standings is still held by the Crazy Cat's Eyes, leading Team Momo by 4 points and the Bumblebees by a staggering 26 points. While that lead is by no means definitive, it still gives both top two teams a valuable cushion going forward, and makes it that much harder for other teams to catch up. Yellow Eye seemed to quickly master the course after a lackluster P9 in the qualifiers, maneuvering through the hive portion to gain spots and taking fastest lap three times over the course of the race, finishing in 3rd with an extra point. He and Momo are also keeping their blossoming rivalry alive, with the latter in contention for the lead for much of the race before falling back to finish 5th. Starting near the bottom and rocketing up in the first few laps has become a Team Momo trademark and a skill envied by many other teams who would desperately love to replicate their success.
Momo is not the only one to fire up those engines from the rear. Starry made a more gradual, but ultimately greater, ascent all the way up to 2nd from P15, pulling Team Galactic out from the gutter and into 8th place. Her experience undoubtedly helped her move past Momo and Bumble, as well as keep Yellow Eye at bay in the final lap. It remains to be seen if Pulsar can also get himself going next week, but Team Galactic is at least in a much better place than they were a week ago.
Bumble impressed again this week, finishing in 4th on his home track after numerous advances into the lead, some of them successful. Ultimately, Speedy proved to be the more skillful racer, but considering how irrelevant the Bumblebees were for the majority of their Marble League debut, Bumble getting three 4th place finishes in a row in long race events is quite remarkable. If Honey can keep placing in the top half and Bumble can get a podium or two, the Bumblebees should be ready to enter the top tier.
Mallard, meanwhile, did what we might call a "reverse Momo": starting high in the order only to plummet. While 14th place is horrible and something that Clementin and Orangin haven't lived down over the last two weeks, there's not much reason to believe that Mallard is out of it just yet. The Green Ducks still sit 4th, and both she and Billy are consistent racers. This race is no more indicative of their failure as their 2019 Marble League performance was of their continued success.
Prim and Snowy did well. One of them did a bit better than last week while the other one did a bit worse, and neither is quite up to last season's standards yet, but they're still in good shape. Rima and Snowstorm are both showing potential as well, so Team Primary and the Snowballs should stay solidly in the top half for the time being. No Marys here.
Clutter, Razzy, and Shock did fine. They can't keep doing what they did at the Honeydome if they want to keep their heads above water, especially Clutter since Tumult's bronze is what is carrying the Balls of Chaos right now, but they're not in a bad spot by any means. Just not good.
Clementin and Minty Drizzel, both desperate for points, finished dead center of the pack, leaving both teams still sitting with single-digit point totals. Clementin especially seems to be dealing with the problem of losing every gain he makes in qualifiers during the grand prix. Smoggy is faring even worse, and the runner-up team from last season sit runner-up to the floor right now. All three of these teams are running out of time if they want to keep up with the increasingly stratified standings; the Hazers are three silvers behind the Cat's Eyes right now.
And finally, Yellow and Sea had to suffer what I like to call "the finish line pan of shame", because the camera had to look for both of them rolling in after everyone else had already finished. The good news is, the pair only did a Vespa and Mary reenactment once, and while this run was embarrassing, it doesn't necessarily mean they're always going to be horrible.
Predictions:
As we see more races and as teams get more points, I have more information with which to make these predictions. But of course, I could still be very wrong. I'm still doing these predictions early, working only off of the unverified sneak preview pictures, and this may get updated if there are any major changes in the official released track. With all of that said, let's begin:
Note: I think my publishing my usual post-qualifier impressions here will violate the subreddit's 3 days rule, so I'll probably lump that in with the main column in the middle of the week.
submitted by Nonagon21 to JellesMarbleRuns [link] [comments]


2020.11.26 19:13 cal_ness Fear is a Sliver

I have a debilitating fear of clusters. It’s called trypophobia.
Lotus pods. Egg sacks. Compound insect eyes. At the sight of clusters, I go inward to an extremely dark place.
A horror-obsessed friend of mine suggested, jokingly, that I look up some Lovecraft-related imagery. Tentacles covered in millions of eyes –– I didn’t talk to him for a month after that. He felt terrible, but his remorse didn’t get the image out of my head. It didn’t stop the anxiety attacks I started having either.
My current therapist said I should spend more time reflecting on what happened last year. I journaled for a while, but eventually, it felt too lonely. I started going to a self-help group for phobias that aren’t recognized by the mainstream medical community. But I felt too exposed. And to be honest, I got tired of listening to people talk about stuff like nomophobia (fear of not having your cell phone), heliophobia (fear of sunlight), and ablutophobia (fear of bathing).
I don’t mean to minimize anyone’s fears, but when combined, those three phobias sound like the basic affliction of being a cis-gendered, white, large adult son millennial. Most of the people in the group were. Kurts and Skylers and Tommys. Promising high school athletes who got fat and depressed and moved into their mom’s basements.
Not to engage in phobia superiority, but sitting in mom’s basement, doom scrolling on your phone, refusing to come up for air or basic hygiene? Trypophobia seems a little bit more substantive, especially given what it eventually led to in my life.
I’ve come to realize that fear is a sliver. It burrows underneath your skin. The more you think about it, the deeper it crawls. Fear, left untended, festers. And then eventually, your body either absorbs it or finds a way to shove it out. I’m not sure why some people get lucky, and others get stuck with their phobias forever.
My body absorbed my fear of clusters. Trypophobia is part of my DNA now.
Let’s go back to how all of this started. In the mid-2010s, a bunch of photoshopped images of body parts superimposed with lotus pods started circulating the Internet. The first one I saw was a cheek. It belonged to a beautiful model, but the photoshopped lotus pod made it look like there were holes in the side of her face, with little eyes staring out of the darkness. When I saw an image of a breast, the nipple superimposed with another lotus pod, I lost it. I’d never had an anxiety attack before, but I had one then. I shut myself in the closet until my boyfriend came over and finally got me to come out.
“It’s fake.” My boyfriend at the time, just trying to help. “Here, look at this.”
He pulled up photos of lotus pods on his phone, but it didn’t help. The ream of Google images was filled with pictures of honeycomb, egg sacks, insect eyes, some of the other things I mentioned. But all of it revolted me equally. The sliver dug deeper.
About six months later, I found out that my fear of clusters had a name. Trypophobia was a thing. Apparently Kendall Jenner has it. I went further down the Internet rabbit hole. I started calling in sick to work. I stopped working out, which was unlike me, given that I rowed for the varsity crew team in college. It got to the point where I was so debilitated by my fear of clusters that my boyfriend went to my parents. They drove to the city and staged an intervention. Everyone insisted that I see a therapist.
That was three therapists ago. I’ve been fired multiple times, which I didn’t even know was a thing until it happened. Apparently therapists are human after all. They can reach their wit’s end, too. Especially when listening to people talk about weird stuff like trypophobia.
Therapy didn’t help, even though I went regularly for six months. I still saw clusters everywhere I looked. The anxiety attacks continued, and they started happening more frequently.
Everything changed one morning when, getting out of the shower, I saw an oozing batch of clusters growing on my right knee.
“I’ll admit it,” said my boyfriend, visibly grossed out but doing his best to be strong for me. “There’s a rash. But hold on, I don’t think it’s as bad as you think.”
He pulled up an article on his phone.
“I think it’s just shingles. Anyone who's had chickenpox can get it.”
Chickenpox? You mean that sickness we get when we’re kids. The one where clusters of red bumps break out all over your body?
“It’s caused by stress,” he said. “We both know how stressed you’ve been.”
There was a long pause, me staring at the batch of eggs or eyes or bumps or whatever they were that had bubbled up on the skin around my right kneecap. Sure, shingles. Call it whatever you want. I couldn’t help feeling that the rash was staring up at me.
“You should go to the doctor,” my boyfriend said.
I could hear the strain in his voice. He wanted the craziness to end. I did too.
Several weeks later (navigating our messed-up healthcare system by first seeing a doctor, getting a referral to a dermatologist, then waiting around until they finally had an opening), I got in to see someone. I remember the conversation clearly. It’s seared into my mind.
“Shingles,” the dermatologist confirmed.
His name was Dr. Harman. The guy creeped me out, more of a pediatrician-type than a specialist. He talked to me like I was five. He had this flirty, dismissive way of interacting, couched in what felt like fake concern.
“Two hundred thousand cases a year, kiddo. It resolves itself in a few weeks, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. I had shingles during the first year of med school.”
Dr. Harman went to his computer and started typing.
“I’m going to prescribe a capsaicin patch,” he said. “You can get the cream over the counter, but the prescription-strength patch is very effective. Just leave it on until I see you again and you’ll be right as rain. We’ll take a look in three weeks. My nurse will schedule a follow up.”
He winked at me. I imagined him as a fly. A big compound eye made of thousands of little ones, all winking at the same time.
“It’ll feel kinda gunky, but don’t peek at it,” Dr. Harman said. “Pinkie promise? Let the patch work its magic.”
I ignored the pinkie promise, wanting to be as far away from Dr. Harman as I could get.
I was about to leave when he stopped me.
“You said you’ve also had anxiety attacks. Have you considered anti-anxiety medication? While you wait this out, I think you could benefit from a benzodiazepine. They’ll help when you have anxiety attacks. Benzos, as they’re called on the street, are extremely addictive. There can be side effects, too. But I would write a short-term prescription if you’re interested, just until our follow up. We’d start with a low dose, then gradually introduce more meds if it’s proving to be effective.”
I walked out of Dr. Harman’s office with the prescription for the capsaicin patch and another one for a three week supply of Klonopin. When I told my parents about the pills, they were worried at first. I had a distant cousin who’d gotten addicted to the stuff. I gave my parents permission to call Dr. Harman. He assured them that it was short-term, three weeks, just until the shingles cleared up and we had our follow up appointment. I’d never had an addictive personality, so we all agreed it was the best way forward.
True to my word, I didn’t lift up the patch. I didn’t “take a peek,” as Dr. Harman put it. The Klonopin helped too. I can’t deny that I felt a magnetic pull, at times, to look up pictures of clusters. But then I’d take an extra Klonopin and stop myself. The benzos really leveled me out, which both my boyfriend and I were grateful for.
When the check-in appointment arrived two weeks later, I wanted my boyfriend to come with me, but he had work. I went to Dr. Harman’s office alone. He lifted up the patch.
“Now isn’t this funny,” he said.
He patted my shoulder. I shuddered. Goosebumps. More clusters.
“This happens,” he said. “The treatment doesn’t work overnight.”
The shingles had gotten worse. They weren’t shingles anymore. My right knee was covered in tiny holes. It looked almost like it had been photoshopped with a lotus pod. Dr. Harman called in his nurse, who did her best to calm me down, averting her stare from my knee as she rubbed my back.
“I want you to see a specialist,” Dr. Harman said. “He’s extremely talented. There’s a psychosomatic element to this. I can’t help with that part.”
He prescribed extra strength capsaicin cream (I refused to put on another patch) and upped my dose of Klonopin.
That night, at home, my boyfriend broke up with me. Or at least, he put our relationship on pause.
“I can’t do this anymore,” he said. “I’m so sorry about what’s happening, but this is too much. It’s interfering with my work. It’s interfering with my happiness. I want to be there for you, but I have to take care of myself.”
Despite my pleas to be given a second chance, he left, promising to revisit things once I got the phobia and disgusting skin condition under control. My parents offered to come up and see me. They sort of insisted. But I said no. I needed to deal with this on my own.
The specialist recommended by Dr. Harman came to my apartment for a house call. He was friendly, calming. Unlike Dr. Harman, he put me at ease. He was middle-aged, maybe forty-five or fifty, and extremely handsome due in part to his personality. He reminded me of an older, better looking Seth Rogan. A bit chubby. Curly hair. Darker features than Seth Rogan, darker hair too. But he was the kind of person who puts you at ease as soon as they walk into the room.
His name was Dr. Miller. Craig Miller. He carried a black briefcase in, which was full of his medical tools.
“I like doing house calls,” he said. “This is not the kind of thing you should be coming into a stuffy clinic for. I’m an osteopath. I used to work at the same dermatology clinic as Dr. Harman, but I eventually decided the corporate lifestyle wasn’t for me.”
Dr. Miller showed me his medical license, even though I didn’t ask to see it. Then he started examining my knee.
“I’m so sorry,” he said. “That looks incredibly painful.”
He poked around a bit with a set of tweezers, gently, but it still hurt like hell.
“I hear that you have trypophobia as well.”
Dr. Miller was the first person to acknowledge that it was a real thing. Dr. Harman hadn’t. My therapist didn’t, and neither did my boyfriend or my parents.
“Yes,” I said. “It’s awful.”
Dr. Miller nodded.
“There is a psychosomatic element to this,” he said. “But I want you to ignore the word psycho in that term. You’re not crazy. You’re just stressed, which I think is completely understandable given the circumstances.”
He sat back in his chair, thinking for a second. Then he reached into his briefcase and pulled out a plastic package. The package was sealed, sterilized, unused. Inside was a set of tweezers like the ones he used to dig around the rash on my knee, what looked like a dental pick, and a small metal thing. It looked like a stamp with a smooth surface.
For the next half hour, Dr. Miller talked me through everything.
“It doesn’t make sense for you to come into the office three times a day, which is what it will take,” he said. “Think of it like digging out a sliver. To get rid of the toxins that are causing this, you have to be vigilant. Essentially, it’s a bunch of slivers, each of which is causing a mini infection.”
“Pick,” he said, digging in as gently as he could. “Loosen. Tweeze. Smooth. Pretty simple once you memorize it.”
He showed me again. I winced but stayed strong, knowing it would help.
“Needle. Tweezers. Stamp. Needle. Tweezers. Stamp.”
He put down the tools and picked up a tube of capsaicin cream, squirting some onto his pudgy index finger.
“Apply the capsaicin cream liberally.”
It stung like hell.
“Rinse and repeat five times,” he continued, “and complete the process three times a day. I want you to do it morning, noon, and night. Keep taking the Klonopin as well. As an osteopath, I’m not a huge fan of the stuff, but I think it’s vital in your case. I’m going to up your dose a bit. Until you get in to see Dr. Harman for your follow up next week, let’s double it.
My knee throbbed viciously, but for the first time in months, I had hope. After we finished the initial treatment, it felt better, as though we’d already excised some of the toxins.
Dr. Miller left. I decided to do one more regimen for good measure before bed.
***
I did the treatment, as prescribed, for a few days. It felt so good to be doing something proactive. The little holes started to disappear. My fear of clusters started disappearing too. The disgusting shingle-like infestation began spreading a bit from my knee, crawling into the area below my quadricep and toward the “fibular collateral ligament.” That’s just a fancy word I found. It’s that thick tendon on the backside of your knee.
I eventually amped up Dr. Miller’s regimen to keep it at bay: twice in the morning, twice in the afternoon, once around dinner time, and once right before bed. I kept taking the Klonopin as he prescribed, doubling the dose.
I spent a lot of time in bed because it hurt to walk. I didn’t realize how essential your knee is to the act of walking. When I called Dr. Miller to give him an update, he recommended that I order a cane. I got one on Amazon. It helped ease the pressure.
The day of my follow up dermatology appointment came a week later. I coated my knee in capsaicin cream, covered it in plastic wrap, and bound everything together with an Ace bandage.
My ex-boyfriend said he’d take the morning off work and come with me to the dermatologist. He was so happy my fear was going away. Plus, there was no way I was driving. The regimen had helped, but you need a lot more knee strength to press the gas and the break than you might think. My boyfriend gagged initially at the smell of the cream, but we kept the windows down as we drove to Dr. Harman’s office and had a pretty good talk about life.
Once we checked in at the clinic, I walked into the examination room, and my boyfriend helped me up onto the table.
“An Ace bandage, hmm?” asked Dr. Harman. “The patch was falling off?”
I told him I’d stopped wearing the patch like he recommended.
“Call me crazy,” said Dr. Harman, “but I remember asking you to promise not to take off the patch.”
I said we must have remembered it differently. But I assured Dr. Harman that the combination of extra strength capsaicin cream and the excision regimen had made things better, even though the area with the shingles had gotten a little messy as a result.
“Excision regimen?” asked Dr. Harman, looking thoroughly confused. “Well, anyhow, let’s take a look.”
When Dr. Harman unwrapped my knee, his nurse screamed. My ex-boyfriend gagged, then started vomiting in the corner of the examination room.
Good god,” said Dr. Harman, his face white as a sheet. “What have you done?”
I looked down at my knee and got hit with the worst stench I’ve ever smelled. The bone of my kneecap, swollen tendons, and everything else in the six-inch diameter surrounding where the shingles had been was a mangled mess of flesh. A dark blanket of gangrene had begun spreading across everything. The exposed veins pulsed, throbbing, almost black. They snaked up and down my leg, constricting the small amount of healthy flesh that was left.
“What the hell have you done?!” demanded Dr. Harman.
I told Dr. Harman about Dr. Miller’s regimen, about how I’d called him right after our check-in at two weeks, just like I’d been instructed to do.
“I’ve never heard of anyone named Dr. Miller,” said Dr. Harman, stumbling into the cabinets behind him. “And I haven’t seen you since our first appointment three weeks ago.”
***
The next few hours were chaotic. My ex-boyfriend stumbled out of the examination room, mute, his eyes glazed over. The doctors and nurses shot my knee full of various liquids, holding me down as I screamed in pain, then rushed me to the emergency room. The ER doctor insisted that we amputate. I screamed in protest. My parents came from out of town, bombing over the mountain pass as fast as their SUV would take them. The ER team continued treating my leg. They brought in a plastic surgeon. He suggested we amputate as well. I got a third opinion. Another specialist said that amputation was the only option, that it was a matter of life and death. I was still screaming when they covered my nose and mouth in a plastic mask and the anesthesia kicked in.
I woke up hours later with a tingling sensation in my right leg. But when I looked down, I saw that it was gone. All that remained was a stump that extended six inches below my pelvis. Blood had already leaked through the bandage.
***
The hardest part about all of this is the distance I feel from the rest of humankind nowadays. The support groups helped for a bit. I even made a few friends who I keep in touch with. But in college, I’d been an athlete. I’d always been active. Those days were gone. My existence had become sedentary within a few short weeks.
My parents paid for the most expensive, advanced prosthetic possible. It sort of feels like I’m walking, even though seventy-five percent of my right leg has been cut off. Since starting PT, I’ve graduated from a walker to a cane. The doctors have mixed opinions about when I’ll be able to walk again on my own without assistance.
For months, I insisted there had been a man named Dr. Craig Miller. I insisted that I’d come into Dr. Harman’s office at two weeks for a scheduled check-in, that Dr. Harman had been the one to recommend seeing Dr. Miller. He vehemently denied it. We all thought there’d be a malpractice suit for a month or so, but there just wasn’t enough evidence –– my word against his.
I told the authorities that Dr. Miller was a middle-aged, darker featured version of Seth Rogan. There was no record of any doctor named Craig Miller in the state. There was a doctor named Craig Miller on the east coast, but he was a geriatrician. There were a dozen others, as well, but none were osteopath dermatologists who did house calls. None that recommended treatment regimens like the one I’d done. Dr. Harman also insisted that I’d abused the Klonopin and that he had given me precise instructions about the amount to take, that he’d told me there can be adverse side effects if it's abused.
The capsaicin cream, rubbed into the raw wound, had caused the infection that made me lose my leg. A psychiatrist I was assigned to see was furious that I’d been prescribed Klonopin. They confirmed it had caused severe psychotic episodes, exacerbated by my underlying fear of clusters. Dr. Harman got a slap on the wrists and went back to his dermatology practice.
I still have a fear of clusters. Trypophobia is a part of my DNA. But with a lot of help from my therapist and my parents, it’s gotten better. “Better” doesn’t mean my leg grew back, but at least I’m not paralyzed by anxiety anymore.
I even started dating someone I met in the physical therapy clinic. He has a prosthetic leg as well. It makes our relationship more comfortable. We understand each other. We move at roughly the same speed. But my life is changed forever.
Trypophobia still isn’t recognized as a mental disorder by the mainstream medical community. It’s “an aversion,” something Kendall Jenner complained about one time on a talk show.
Most people write me off as a crazy person. The Internet has been vicious. But Dr. Craig Miller, that phantom figment of my imagination. He seemed so real. I’ve started to forgive myself, but it’s taken a lot of hard work.
I appreciate being able to tell my story here. Maybe if enough people come forward, my mental disorder will be formally recognized. No amount of topical cream and anti-anxiety meds can rid me of my fear of clusters. Once upon a time, it was a sliver. Now it’s a part of my physiology.
“Debilitate” is defined as follows: to make (someone) weak and infirm.
Debilitated by fear of clusters? Or debilitated due to self-induced amputation?
Take your pick.
submitted by cal_ness to WestCoastDerry [link] [comments]